The pursuit of personal and professional growth can be exhausting. It requires consistent open-mindedness, regular introspection, daily accountability and a willingness to challenge our own beliefs and opinions.
And let’s be honest – admitting you’re wrong is never fun or easy.
So, to help you in this pursuit, we want to share a list of 10 of our favorite reflection questions. We’ve not only used ourselves as a self-awareness tool, but also with our staff, family and friends to spark purposeful discussion, and to gain the outside perspective we need to reveal our blindspots. We hope you’ll benefit from them as much as we have!
Find a list of all 10 questions (plus a fun bonus question) by downloading our Podcast Reflection Questions if you haven’t already done so. And if you have any other questions that you’ve found particularly helpful, and you’d like to share, we’d love to hear them! You can reach us directly at info@artofcoaching.com.
If you find this episode helpful, check out our most updated FREE Self – Reflection Guide for another 150 questions or browse through any of our other free resources!
Help us in our fight against Leukemia and Alzheimer’s by purchasing a Signed Copy of Conscious Coaching:
Each holiday season, we donate a portion of our signed book sales to these organizations. Because a core attribute of our business is conveying Midwest warmth and appreciation, we sell signed copies. This also gives us a chance to say thank you and personalize each individual copy. So if you want to donate to a good cause, and you know somebody that maybe would appreciate the book, or maybe you want to buy a bunch of them for your institution as other organizations have, or whatever it is, go to https://artofcoaching.com/product/book/.
Today’s episode is brought to you by AG1: They get it – you’re time poor and don’t always get in the fruits and veggies you know you should, especially during the holiday season. So take this opportunity to get the nutrients you need to keep your body healthy and functioning at an optimal level! Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase simply by visiting drinkAG1.com/coach.
TRANSCRIPTION
Brett Bartholomew 0:12
Hello everybody, San Francisco, California, Phoenix, Arizona, Salisbury, England, Calgary, these are the next places we are going to be running our art of coaching apprenticeship event. If you’re somebody that wants to deepen your understanding of what motivates others, so you can get the most out of them. Being able to improve your ability to read the room, have hard conversations, better understand and adapt to your own communication style, all so that you can build trust and be a better coach and leader, this is your opportunity, I am going to be teaching every single one of these, my travel schedule is going to be limited next year.
My wife and I are looking at possibly having baby number two. So take advantage of this, I would love to connect with you, I’d love to work with you. And as always, all of our workshops are open to people from every age, every profession, every background, the only prerequisite is that you want to do the work that you know that there’s always room to improve, you have a growth mindset, and that you want to do something interactive, you want to get your hands dirty. These are a lot of fun, right? You’re going to be able to get feedback from people in a lot of different professions, we utilize improv roleplay, we do a lot of hands on stuff that you’re going to be able to take back and apply with your team and your organization. So go to artofcoaching.com/events. Now that’s artofcoaching.com/events. We also have a student discounts first responder discounts and early bird discounts. Again, artofcoaching.com/events now
Welcome to the Art of coaching Podcast. I’m Brett Bartholomew, and at a young age poor communication nearly cost me my life. Now, I help others navigate the gray area of social interaction, power dynamics and communication so they can become more adaptable leaders, regardless of their profession, age or situation.
This podcast is for everybody who is fascinated with solving people problems. So if you’re in the no nonsense type who appreciates frank conversations, advice you can put to use immediately, and learning how others navigate the messy realities of leadership. You’re in the right place. I’m glad that you’re joining us. Let’s dive in.
Hey, thanks for joining me for another episode, this is going to be a quick one for you. And something that I hope you can use with friends, family members of your team. So let’s get right into it. What I wanted to do here was ask you or provide you with rather, a series of questions for you to reflect on as we come towards the end of the year. Now, as always, it doesn’t matter when you’re listening to this podcast, this was recorded towards December, close to December 2023. But this is going to be just as valid no matter when you’re listening to it. Because these are questions that you want to ask yourself again and again and can spark some self awareness, some conversation, some nuance.
Now the whole point of this is any form of reflection, as you know, is a powerful tool that just helps you with your personal growth. And it requires a little bit of open mindedness, introspection, and of course, accountability. Because it can be very easy for us to just continue to believe the things that we believe, not really challenge those beliefs, or just make ourselves think that we’re challenging those beliefs, even though we’re staying in our comfort zone. Now, if you want more questions like this, every year, we have put out a reflection guide. You can go to artofcoaching.com/reflection right now and print off a free PDF that you can use with members of your staff, friends, family, your spouse, whatever.
And it’s going to give you over 100 questions for you to really think about and consider to make sure that you are covering your blind spots, and really just also absorbing the strengths in the wins that you partaking in so that you can reproduce that success. So let me go through a few of these questions. And you’ll get an idea of what I mean, right? One pretty straightforward. And I think that this stuff is always important, you know that we are all about relationships here. I want you to ask yourself, is there a relationship that has meant a lot to you that needed mending or whether that was an apology, anything like that, that you have taken the time to men.
Whether it just involves saying I’m sorry, or calling that person up or texting them or writing them and saying, Hey, there’s been a rift between us. I don’t like it. I want to fix it. Have you taken the time this year to mend a relationship that maybe had gotten sour or there is a misunderstanding. And I want this to be a relationship that’s meant something to you. This doesn’t have to be the biggest thing in your life, either. I know some of you like we all have family stuff, we all have things with colleagues and co workers or we have. Just give yourself the freedom, whatever relationship, whatever category that is, have you taken the time to try to mend it? Okay, straightforward.
Here’s another one I want you to think about. Have you called yourself out for something that you did professionally? And personally this year? Have you actually looked yourself in the mirror, called yourself out and said, hey, you know, this was BS. Or the way you did this wasn’t right, have you owned up to your own mistakes? I’m gonna check my phone here for a minute, because it reminds me of something that I posted on my social media a long time ago, that was all about the accountability spectrum. And it was, where do you stand? Are you more on the victim side where you blame others, where you use a lot of personal excuses, or you just wait and hope it gets better? Or, are you very accountable? Do you acknowledge the reality, own it and find solutions?
And I’ll go a step further here. We should all that’s part of just healthy leadership and introspection to know, hey, there was something I did wrong there. And I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the way that I handled that situation. Or we had somebody reach out to us privately, when we were asking this question to some members of our community beforehand, when we were trying to get an idea of if this episode would be helpful. And they said, Yeah, you know what I do is, I hide behind some of my strengths too much. I do, I hide behind my strengths. And I like to make it seem like I’m getting out of my comfort zone.
But I’m not, I’m doing things that are uncomfortable for most people. But they’re still comfortable to me. And I had to call myself out for not doing enough things that scared me this year. So I thought that was a really great answer. And I think that’s something worth, asking yourself. Now, on the flip side, if you’re somebody that, I think almost like I’ve been the past six months of my life, you call yourself out for too many things. Also, have you given yourself credit for something. So you know, you can do this, no matter what side of that equation you’re on. But most of us are going to sit on one side of the fence or the other, we know that we can either, hey, I probably haven’t called myself out enough. Or I do it all the time. And I really need to own some of my personal successes and strengths a little bit more, I need to take the time to do that.
Another question. And I think that this is one of my favorite ones. And this is one that should give you some really, really strong insight. What has been your most impactful No, this year? And how did that refusal open either new doors for you? Or preserve your values or energy? So what was the most impactful No, for you this year? We all say no to a lot of different things are we tried to get better at saying no. But what was the most impactful one. Now ideally, this means that it led to you really being able to spend your time getting a core project done spending more time with somebody you love, or just valuing yourself and your time, a little bit more? What was your most impactful No, and that will really, really speak to many of you that kind of have this FOMO that that you deal with?
Or like, Oh, if I don’t do this, it could impact my career. Or if I don’t do that. I’m scared this won’t happen. I think that’s one of the best questions that you can ask yourself. All right. Another one that– and I went back and forth on this because I know it could be misinterpreted. But I hope that you can see what I mean by this. Is there something that you have spent a significant amount of money or energy on this year to complete? Now, here’s what I mean by this, whether it’s an online course you wanted to put out an addition to your house, is there something that you started, that literally required a lot of skin in the game and a lot of fear, and you actually put that money down, you put that time and energy in and you’ve started it or finish it
And think about what that represents really, that’s about you committing to something, especially with the financial piece, and also just you being willing to see that next chapter of your life through. My wife and I had to do this this year when we looked at, okay, we’re moving, and we’re gonna buy a property that we can build on for the future. Now that required us to say no to some other things. To decide, okay, we’re going to restructure some things in our business, we’re going to restructure some other pieces, but this is for the long term. So we have to save that. This is another example I’d like to think I lead by example, but I fall short in many ways. My book is another piece.
No matter how many times I’ve wanted to just be like Screw this, especially when my publisher wants me to change something, there’s too much time and energy, I know it is going to get finished. And I just want you to think about that, because it’s very easy every year to talk about, and we’re coming up to that time again, where people are going to talk about all the things they want to do. But a third of the way through the year or half of the way through the year, they’re going to start using aI don’t have enough time and money excuse. And then they’re going to talk about this thing again. And again. And again. And again. Right.
So I’ll repeat that question. Have you invested time, money or energy into a significant project, write something that really signifies Hey, this is a next chapter I’m committed in. And I’ve done this, and I’ve done this. Next one, what is a belief, or rather, let me rephrase this. what is something that you have done that challenge or change a core belief of yours this year?
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What is something that you have done that challenge or change a core belief of yours this year? This one is all about the evolution of your mindset. Now, this doesn’t have to be all a change of religious or spiritual belief. But I do want it to be more about like, well I never thought I’d like seafood and I tried this when I was in Portugal, and now I like seafood. Give me something with a little bit more meat. This can be something from a more intimate part of your life, this could be something towards a way that you’ve expanded your viewpoint on, financial stuff, anything like that. But something that was a significant belief, maybe you decided to go to another kind of professional development workshop. And previously, you had thought blank topic wasn’t gonna help you much. But now you’re at a point in your life when it does.
I’ll give you a great example from one of our workshops. An individual that came to one of our workshops, and I said, Hey, what would have gotten you here sooner, because they had talked about how they had seen our stuff quite a bit. And they said, you know, I always just considered myself a really strong communicator. But the more and more you talked about the role playing and peer evaluation part of your workshop, I realized that I kind of always had this inclination that maybe I consider myself a great communicator, because I control situations too much. And I know what to say, and I know what to show people. And I wanted to see if that’s how it really came across.
And I said, well, what do you find? They said, that. I do find that when I met with uncertainty, I tried to control the situation. So I hide behind a lot of what I know, I’m strong at again. And that’s communication that’s using rational persuasion, that is rationalizing my way out of tough situations. And so I said, Well, how did this challenge your beliefs? Then? They said, Well, I realized that, while I may be a good communicator, I’m not a great listener. And so fundamentally, that means that I’m not a great communicator, I guess. And I need to quit trying to control so much. And just let that other person have a little bit more of like, give ground to gain ground, so to speak. I was like, well, that’s, that’s a great point.
And so think about that. I mean, many of you listening we have so many people from either scientific backgrounds or people that are just curious and intellectual. So many of you like to know the issues behind the issues, the root causes. You can be really good at rationalizing. You can be really good at believing, making sure that you guard those beliefs. So just think about something where you really, really, really challenge your belief. Where did you challenge your belief this year? What was a moment of unexpected kindness you either received or offered this year? And what ripple effect? Did it create?
This is another thing that I think we can get so used to giving and providing value to others, because so many of you are relentless givers. And you want to exceed people’s expectations. Right? What was something that– I mean, check your texts, check your emails, because you may have forgotten. I got one on Friday, from a coach that basically said, Hey, I wanted to thank you. And I said, for what? And he said, there was a time a couple of years ago that I was going through some stuff. And I wanted to come to one of your events. But I was in a financial a tough spot. And he said, the fact that you didn’t try too hard sell me and you just listen to me and tried to learn more about my situation, that meant more than you knew.
And to me, that took me aback because like, I always make the mistake, I don’t know if any of you are the same. But I always think the way like I have to help people in super deep and meaningful ways. Like I expect a lot of myself sometimes to an unhealthy degree. So just realizing that this person who is going through a tough time, especially during COVID. And he’s basically just saying you just listen to me and got to understand my situation, that that stuff is very hard for me to accept his actual health. But it was and I was like, Oh, cool. And then he’s like in for the record. Now I’m coming to your workshop.
So just remember, sometimes it’s the smallest things that can help people with that. And those things are valid, too. All right, let’s go. What was a piece of advice you received this year that you’re happy you did not listen to? This is almost along those same lines of the most impactful no. What was a piece of advice you received this year, that you’re happy you did not listen to? And that’s one straight off of our self reflection guide. And remember, when you download it, you’ll see that the date 2021, or 2022. This is something we try to release every year. And we add some things to it. Because no matter what the questions are, every year should bring new reflections.
So just go to artofcoaching.com/reflection and you can get a lot of these. I’ll give you three more. Three more. Let’s see, I want to challenge you a little bit three more in a fun one. What was something you did for personal development this year that enhance your professional development as well and I’ll allow you to even reverse that. Whether it was something you did for professional development that helped you in your personal life, or in your for your personal development that helped you in your professional life. And I think that this can be a tough one for some of you, because many of you can get caught up on doing professional development that is too closely related to your profession.
This happened a lot when I was in strength and conditioning. You have strength coaches that had to get CEUs. And by the way, if you are listening all of our courses, for those of you that are strength coaches, our bought in gives you 1.5 CEUs, and it is a recertification year. So if you want more on that go to artofcoaching.com/courses. But for a while there are so many that just hey, I won’t do a piece of professional development unless it gives me CEUs. And that is a huge, huge mistake. There are so many things you guys can do out there for personal and professional development. You’ve got to broaden that spectrum.
Your mind just shrinks if you just stay wrapped up in the same kind of– cause some people will say well, I read books and I do this.Still it’s not the same as getting out there and interacting with different people from different professions and different walks of life. Here’s another one. What is something you are still avoiding? And just be honest with yourself, call yourself out here? What is something that you are being way to avoid in time? What is something you’re being weighed to avoid it on? You’re not owning up to, you’re not doing, you’re not just setting the first step on. What is something that you are still being too avoidant with?
Anything that you are being to avoidant with? Another piece, how have you contributed to a cause greater than yourself this year? And what impact has that had on your sense of purpose? On example from our end, and we’re doing this right now too is we every year give a portion of proceeds from my book conscious coaching and our courses to the Leukemia Lymphoma Foundation and the Alzheimer’s Association or the Leukemia Lymphoma Society or Alzheimer’s Association. And this started in part because, really a great person in Kieran O’Byrne had sent a picture a long time ago of him reading my first book conscious coaching while he was donating platelets.
And I asked him and he said, Yeah, I donate platelets to help those fighting leukemia. And I was like, Dude, you just inspired me to do something every year. And so every year, around this time of year, and once or twice other times of the year, we give away sign copies of my book conscious coaching to raise money, I guess I shouldn’t say give away, sorry. We sell copies of my first book conscious coaching that are signed in at a reduced price for a good cause. Now, if you want more information on that, check the show notes. But you can go to artofcoaching.com. And you’ll see signed copies of the book when you go to the shop tab, or just email us at info@artofcoaching.com.
But that’s something that like, I just saw that when you’re on like, we’re gonna do this every single year. And we’ve had some people reach out and send photos and just a lot of really cool stories. I’m not saying we’re saviors or anything like that, I’m just saying that that was something that we did for you. I mean, I listen, you could give $5 at the checkout line, do anything. I know a lot of you are already really, really philanthropic. But this is something I just want you to challenge your staff to do. Maybe your family does this during the holidays, that’s great. But just reflect on the broader implications of your actions. And, just take stock in that.
Now, here’s a fun one for you. If you and I want you to think of all the quirky things about yourself, think if there was a Saturday Night Live parody for you, this current period of your life, or how you go about your work, what would that look like? There’s a lot I could go here, just my toddler is in a wild phase right now in my life often feels like a Saturday Night Live parody. But if there is a Saturday Night Live parody for you, or how you go about your work, or your life at this moment, what would it look like?
So there you go, some simple, not always simple, but relatively low stakes questions and reflections that I want you to just consider and take these again to your staff have this conversation with a significant other a friend, find your favorite one. And if you don’t know, just ask somebody say, hey, you know, I heard this question on the podcast. It made me think I’m having trouble. What do you think this was for me? I do this with my wife all the time. I’m like, what would you think was the most significant No, for us this year? What was the most significant blank for us this year? You never know what you’re gonna find.
So I know this is simple. I know we live in a world of three to four hour long podcast now where everything’s super deep. And but sometimes I just think the simplest stuff is the best we try to keep it to the point here. Remember, if you want a ton more questions, all for free, that can help strengthen your level of introspection, create some excellent conversations and roundtable discussions with your staff, your community, whatever, go to artofcoaching.com/reflection you can download it couldn’t be simpler. If you do, if you are in a giving mood. We appreciate any of you that one is support our cause with the Leukemia Lymphoma Society, and the Alzheimer’s Association. Remember, you can reach out to us at info@artofcoaching.com or check the show notes for the link to the book. And we hope to hear from you. All right. So until next time, I can’t wait to hear some of your answers. Talk to you soon. Send this to a friend if it helps you in any capacity.
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