There’s no doubt that we are in an unprecedented age of virtual meetings, webinars, and presentations. The goal of this episode is to give the DNA of what makes a great experience and offer a wake-up call for anyone who has not been taking advantage of these experiences; whether you are leading or attending!
If you find yourself constantly disappointed and not getting what you want from meetings, calls, or presentations there’s a reason for that:
It’s YOU!
We have lost a sense of accountability in being responsible for your own experience and the results (or lack thereof) that follow.
In this quick-hitter I cover tips and strategies on how to organize calls, foster trust & vulnerability between those involved, assess the call’s effectiveness, and maximize everyone’s time.
Every single one of us has the opportunity to contribute something at the level that we want. But it will not happen if you are passive and your mindset isn’t in the right place.
At Art of Coaching, we aren’t exempt from this! We apply all of these principles in our Coalition mentoring program.
If you’re tired of feeling stuck in your personal or professional life, frustrated with your own self-limiting beliefs, and are searching for a community, fill out an application.
TRANSCRIPT
Brett Bartholomew 00:00
Every single one of us has the opportunity to contribute something at the level that we want. But don’t complain about the dark if you’re not lighting candles, don’t sit here and bitch about your calls or these or these not being productive, come up with a better framework, come up with a better way of addressing it, come in with a more specific problem. Most importantly, wait for it.
Come in with some urgency, urgency, quit wasting time. Quit sitting back, listening, being worried about somebody stealing your idea, somebody judging you, somebody’s thinking you’re not smart enough, somebody’s thinking you’re behind, somebody’s thinking any number of things, just quit. You and me, we are not that important. Share what you need to work on and move the needle.
Brett Bartholomew 01:02
Welcome to the Art Of Coaching podcast, a show aimed at getting to the core of what it takes to change attitudes, behaviors and outcomes in the weight room, boardroom classroom, and everywhere in between. I’m your host, Brett Bartholomew, I’m a performance coach, keynote speaker and the author of the book Conscious Coaching. But most importantly, I’m a lifelong student interested in all aspects of human behavior and communication. I want to thank you for joining me. And now let’s dive into today’s episode.
Brett Bartholomew 01:35
Alright, quick one here, and probably a little bit convicting for some of you. So over the pandemic, and just in life in general, we’re all going to take part or we all have taken part in a lot of meetings, or conferences. Now these could be in person, these could be virtual, whether it’s Zoom, or Google Meet, or Microsoft Teams, or any of these things. Think about this episode within the context of did you go to a workshop? Did you take partner’s Zoom Meeting? Have you been a part of a mastermind group? Have you done any of these things? A lot of times what we hear are people complaining.
And when I say by we like just you hear this on the internet, you hear this in interpersonal conversations, all these kinds of things, where people will say, Oh, that conference wasn’t good, or oh, that meeting was a waste of time or oh that webinar wasn’t as good as I hoped it would be. And where I feel like we have lost some sense of accountability is taking responsibility over your own experience. Guys, I’ve been on a lot of bad zoom calls, I’ve been on a lot of bad webinars. And I can almost identify the bad ones, because they always start with people just saying, Hey, I’m just happy to be here and listen, or I’m happy to do this.
Brett Bartholomew 01:59
Now, of course, listening is a key component of effective communication, probably the most critical. But when you’re getting in a call, or you’re in a conference, or you’re in some kind of medium that is oriented around shared learning, experiential learning, shared perspectives. And let’s say you sit there and you feel like the information shared didn’t really knock your socks off, but you just kind of sat back and listened. Make no mistake about it, that is your fault. I just feel like we’ve lost this sense of accountability.
You know, when we started running our Coalition calls, a lot of things were kind of fluid, hey, let’s have a topic, a central theme. We knew kind of some overarching goals. And those calls didn’t always go as well as we hoped. And it took about two or three calls until I said, Okay, we all have overarching goals, but we need to have a goal for each call, like, what is the issue I’m dealing with right now? What is the biggest thing? And most importantly, how do I even know if these calls are effective? Can we rank them? And we’ll talk about that in a moment. But where things started changing for me when I quit complaining, especially if I felt like certain questions I had didn’t get answered, or, you know, if I felt like, you know, people just kind of skirted over things superficially and didn’t get really to the core of their issue one. Yeah, I’m a big believer.
Brett Bartholomew 01:59
And if you’re organizing some kind of mastermind, or some, like, collaborative call, whatever you want to call that, have an NDA or have some kind of baseline privacy agreement. Because chances are you started this because you want to share some things you felt like you couldn’t share in other groups. You wanted to get people around you.
But trust is earned. Right? Trust is very much earned. And I think there’s something you know, it’s ritualistic when you say, Hey, guys, we agree that we’re going to keep this here. And of course, you can trust and just say, why don’t need a contract. I don’t need this, you know, just choose good people. Man, I can show you a lot of times throughout history where somebody thought they were around good people, and it backfired on them, right? So I would argue this what harm does an NDA or some kind of document that says, we agree to keep these things inside this circle for the purposes of this call? What harm does that have?
Brett Bartholomew 01:59
You know, I remember the first time somebody asked me to sign an NDA, I was like, whoa, like this got super formal. And then a friend outside of that industry said, well, why should it bug you? You know, these are very common in most business oriented things, most professional oriented things, if you don’t have any mal intent, then you should have no issue signing a mutual NDA. And I thought about that. No problem signing, NDA is anytime since it opens the floor, it says, Hey, what I’m going to share is protected, what you’re going to share is protected. And frankly, I’d rather sign a document that says, I agree not to be, you know, a jackass and share, you know, your personal stuff that I would waffle on, you know, these long zoom calls or meetings forever, and nobody really open up because they’re, you know, they’re scared to say what they really think. So that’s one piece.
The other thing is, you know, have an actual agenda. Now, this will depend whether you’re running a webinar, or some kind of, you know, mastermind call, again, for our Coalition. And it’s not always the same. But if we do a hot seat thing, it’s like, hey, what is important right now, what is the most important thing right now, it doesn’t have to pertain to your overarching goal of the next six months. But you know, right now, and why is this important? And most importantly, what is the desired outcome of this call on your side of things, now, maybe you don’t have anything big that we can, that’s fine, then you are somebody that’s going to listen, instead of just kind of putting some things out there more.
But if you have a sudden go three to four weeks, and you don’t have anything that you quote, unquote, feel as important enough, or that as urgent enough, and you’re not getting what you want out of it, then that’s your issue. Now, similarly, you shouldn’t join groups like this, if all you want to do is listen, you know, I get guys that there’s some people that like to be lurkers. And I don’t mean that in a negative connotation. There’s people that like to be the fly on the wall. But that’s great value for you. But you’re not always providing tremendous value for other people. So yes, God gave you or whatever you believe in, you know, two ears in one mouth. But that mouth is for a reason you still have to speak.
Brett Bartholomew 06:45
There’s a lot of people that think, Well, I do more listening than talking. Well, there’s a dynamic there, when you again, enter a pack that says, I’m going to help people in this group, and I want to be helpful to this people in this group. At some point, you’re still going to have to speak up. So we talked about what’s important now, why is it important now? What is the desired outcome? What have you tried? Where did you get stuck, and then finally share some successes or strategies or even low points from the week.
But I think, you know, I just can’t tolerate when people have an agreement that say, Hey, we’re gonna jump on a call at this time, everybody come ready to share and you know, then just nothing moves. And then people whine about these things. It’s like, well, what accountability did you take? You know, I was talking to a friend recently and he’s like, hey, do you think he’s running some calls and he said, Do you think that call was impactful?
And I said, Well, why don’t you ask people, you know, and specifically, one thing that I started doing, and it came as a result of us having this conversation with one another, and this is loose, right, you can create whatever derivation you want. But this is to make sure that, again, people have an outcome in mind and nothing wades into rant territory, or kumbaya territory. But it’s basically saying, you know, have people rank where they are after each call, meaning let’s say it was one to five.
And this is an example only, there’s plenty of holes in it. Five being I gained tremendous value, and one being no value whatsoever, then add specific categories, meaning, Hey, what did you know, rank what you got out of that, personally? What was it? What you get out of it professionally? What about relationally? Was it just good for you to like, connect with people? you know, maybe you didn’t have a big personal or professional issue. But man, you just wanted to kind of see somebody and because you’ve been locked up for so long. And then what you get out of it intellectually, and then compare that with where they wanted to be?
Brett Bartholomew 08:34
I mean, I know there’s some calls, I come in there. And you know, I really have a professional oriented problem to solve. Maybe it’s about hiring, or maybe it’s about how we run a live event. Or maybe it’s about how we even manage our finances, for you maybe it’s how you write your programs, maybe it could be anything. And I really want to get a five out of that. Maybe relationally. Yeah, it’s good to see people but I only came into that call expecting a three, you know, just be respectful, show up kind of talk. Don’t be sidetracked. And maybe I got a three out of it.
So again, what I’m saying is the goal isn’t to have fives across the board. That’s just nobody’s going to have calls were like, hey, personally, professionally, relationally intellectually just knock my socks off every time. That’s not realistic. But what is realistic is, you know, getting rid of this, I would say entitlement of thinking, I’m gonna go into a call, I’m not gonna have clear defined goals. And I’m gonna expect all these things and then I’m going to have the right to bitch about it when I get off said call. If I get on a call and somebody kind of rants but that rant is useful, and nobody else picks up the mic when they have a chance to talk.
I don’t look at that as a bad thing. You know, and I’m sure I have some friends that would say, Well, sure you don’t, because you’re usually the one that rants, you know, sometimes Yeah, it’s something that I’m passionate about. But I guess what I’m trying to say is every single one of you every single one of us has the opportunity to contribute something at the level that we want, but don’t complain about the dark if you’re not lighting candles, don’t sit here and bitch about your calls or these are these not being productive, come up with a better framework, come up with a better way of addressing it come in with a more specific problem.
Brett Bartholomew 11:43
Most importantly, wait for it to come in with some urgency, urgency, quit wasting time, quit sitting back, listening, being worried about somebody stealing your idea, somebody judging you, somebody’s thinking you’re not smart enough, somebody’s thinking you’re behind, somebody’s thinking any number of things, just quit. You and me, we are not that important. Share what you need to work on and move the needle. You go to a crappy conference, you’re part to blame.
You go to a crappy webinar, you’re part to blame, you lead a crappy call, you’re part to blame, you are to blame, we are to blame. I just can’t stand it, guys. So, you know, think about this, whether you’re running an educational webinar, where it is more of you talking, or a group collaborative call, sit down and think, What do you want to get out of it? What does everybody else want to get out of it? How can they create? How can you create facilitated outputs where you can manage expectations, but still create inclusiveness?
Because if you just say, hey, guys, I really want to get 10 people together for a call, I think it’ll be good for us, I think we’ll grow everybody just kind of share your goals and what you want to get out of it. That’s a good start. But it will not be enough to move the needle. If people don’t take accountability.
Brett Bartholomew 11:43
People have to share, and you have to identify who’s a fit for the group and not. I’m not a fit for every group. I have friends that aren’t a fit for every group. There’s some people that would love to get on calls that are just kind of a sharing of stories and a fellowship. And that’s basically it. And I think there’s a time and place for that where I would love that. But right now where I have some issues that I want to work through. And I need subject matter experts, or even just people that are willing to share more strategies about what they do without skirting around the superficial. I don’t want to get on those other calls. I want to get on the tactical, heavy tactical, yeah, let’s have some jokes. Yes, let’s make fun of one another. Let’s have this, but then boom. Let’s get into that.
So overall, I’m going to recap what I think it takes to make a strong call if you are doing a mastermind. And this isn’t exhaustive, right? This is based on my experiences and where I’m at today. And some things that are on my mind today. You know, one, have an application or a vetting process doesn’t have to be an application, but have some kind of vetting process. If you’re doing a mastermind or a group call, have some barriers to entry, if you just let anybody in. And I’m not talking about from an elitist standpoint, you know, art coalition is not about how many years you have in your field and all this kind of stuff.
It is about are you somebody who is accountable? Are you somebody who’s going to be helpful? Are you somebody who’s humble? And are you going to come into it with a strategic mindset, but you have to have some barriers, right? If you just let everybody in, you’re gonna get a mixed weird, odd product. All right? The more diverse the professions, the better the more diversity ages, the better, I would argue, unless you run a very, very, very niche thing, but have some kind of application, or barrier to entry, then get an idea of yes, the overarching goals, what success looks like, what failure looks like, what these things look like, but then make sure you set an agenda or at least goals for each individual call, like, what is your goal today?
Brett Bartholomew 13:28
If it doesn’t fit into your overall goal? That’s okay, you’re gonna pivot but have a goal? What are the wins? What are the strategies? What are the struggles? Where are you at? we have people rank where they’re at, in their personal life, their financial life, even from a romantic or intimacy standpoint, because if somebody all of a sudden isn’t achieving something, and then we see weak after weak, they score low and self care, and you know, some basic things that are their non negotiables. In life. Well, like, of course, like, this isn’t an environment that’s conducive to any kind of growth.
So let’s address those personal things first, as a group, and then let’s get you back on the professional side. But the bottom line is, many of you are in jobs, where you would not make decisions without a mix of this subjective and objective evaluation, and local and global goal setting. So why are you accepting that for your calls? Why are you accepting that for your calls? And then why are you thinking that it’s okay to get on a call and be passive, and then bitch that you’re not getting what you want out of it? Stop, stop, guys. There’s plenty more I could say. But there’s nothing more that needs to be said, based on my goal for this episode today.
Brett Bartholomew 14:32
My goal for this episode today was to give you a little bit of a DNA of what I think makes it good experience a bad experience in terms of these calls, and most importantly, to wake any of you up out there that have been on these calls, and maybe just sat on the sidelines and worried about how you’re going to be perceived or worried about a few should share, or those of you that are running calls that maybe need to kind of up it a little bit and think hey, let’s come in with a little little bit more conviction. You know, I think that these things can be massively impactful if you do it right.
I have a friend named Scott Livingston. You know, he’s always looking for feedback on the calls that he runs. He always wants to dive more deeply into these things. And I have other friends that do these things as well. You know, and you have to be ruthless with yourself. Like, ask yourself when you got off that call, like, did that go how I thought it should have gone? And if it didn’t, how can I ensure that everybody else feels the same way? Or maybe they don’t, you could think you ran a crap call per webinar, and everybody else loved it. And then maybe you felt like that, because your idea of what made a good call was crap. You see what I mean?
Like, but just take some sense of ownership of this stuff, take some sense of ownership of your experience, no matter what it is, from an educational standpoint. And then if you want to maximize it, apply it, right, apply it see, sense, and then like, create something off of that. Right. So okay, I’ve experienced this, I’ve internalized it now, what am I going to do? How am I going to implement it and maximize your own kind of, you know, the wisdom that you extracted. But if we don’t do this, it’s just, you know, it’s the same thing over and over and over again.
Brett Bartholomew 16:05
So you know, if you’re interested in this stuff, and you and you want to learn more, we have a group called the Coalition that is focused about this. I wish I could tell you, it’s for everybody, it’s just really not, you know, we’re not elitist. But we are protective of the group, we want people that are going to come in, they’re focused, they’re action oriented. No, it’s not a free group. And that’s not a knock against anything that is free out there. Our group is not free. If you miss a meeting, we want you to feel that, we know time is valuable, we spend a lot of time in it, you spend time in it, there’s a different environment, I’m telling you feel free to disagree.
But we have found there is a completely different environment when there’s an application process, and interview process. And then there is payment required to be a part of a group, we find that people come in with purpose, they come in with a sense of pragmatism. And that is not the goal of every group. Like I said, if you’re around friends, and you have a small coterie that you just kind of man, you need something, don’t worry about the application, then you might have your 10 friends that you want. And that’s your group to run however you see fit. So there’s something out there for everybody. But you have got to do the work no matter whether you’re the one running the call or taking part in it.
Brett Bartholomew 18:17
Guys. That’s it. For more on our Coalition or anything like that, go to artofcoaching.com/coalition. Again, that’s artofcoaching.com/coalition. A warning again, this is not a billionaire boys club, a 10x, your revenue, a drive Lamborghinis, look at me with my bookcases in the Hollywood Hills. This is for people that are tired of kind of just feeling stuck. This is for people that want to do more, and are just frustrated with the monotony and the self limiting beliefs and the nonsense or maybe you feel trapped around people that just want to discuss the same stuff over and over and, and you need to move the needle. If that’s you, join the Coalition. We do it twice a year. It’s a bi, I must say bimonthly, biannual program. And you know, like it’s always good.
Our next applications will be in the spring, but you want to apply now if you’re into it, you know, and it is very much first come first serve. You fill out the application. If you’re somebody that does so thoughtfully and you do so with integrity. You know, you can expect the fact that we’ll probably set up an interview and then after that we just try to find like minded or people that want to challenge each other. You know, they may be like minded in some aspects, but they’re not another’s. I appreciate you all.
Brett Bartholomew 18:26
Here’s your quick rant of the day. Brett Bartholomew signing off for the Art Of Coaching podcast. See you next time.
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