E131 | Quentin Pullen: The Overton Window - Art Of Coaching™

Posted October 14, 2020

“Leaders are lifelong learners” is a statement that resonates with many of us who are on a journey to continually redefine ourselves. There are few people who exemplify this more than today’s guest, Quentin Pullen.

After serving in both the Marines and the Navy, working as a manual therapist for 25 years, and starting a small business, Quentin is running for mayor Costa Mesa, California! Quentin shares the keys that have allowed him to adapt to many different environments and situations throughout his life.

And, yes, we talk politics in this episode but it’s NOT what you think! Rather than political parties, we discuss what politics means in terms of overcoming obstacles in your community, how to gracefully deal with stigma & bias, and the conversations we should be having.

TRANSCRIPTION

Quentin Pullen 0:01

corporations seek out coaches to help their teams to become more proficient, more productive, know and better. They don’t seek out politicians to do that, you know, so when a coach goes into a space, we’re going to improve that space, you know, it’s going to help you be more productive at what you do. We’re going to someone says, oh, you know, it’d be fine if we needed. We absolutely need a cheerleader in our town. We need a cheerleader in our political climate right now that says, Look, things are not as bad as people are telling you. They are our communities, our state, our country needs leaders like us coaches that are going to get out there and tell the world world’s a beautiful place, and especially when we work hard at making it more beautiful.

Brett Bartholomew 1:03

Welcome to the Art of coaching podcast, a show aimed at getting to the core of what it takes to change attitudes, behaviors and outcomes in the weight room, boardroom classroom, and everywhere in between. I’m your host, Brett Bartholomew, I’m a performance coach, keynote speaker and the author of the book conscious coaching. But most importantly, I’m a lifelong student interested in all aspects of human behavior and communication. I want to thank you for joining me and now let’s dive into today’s episode.

All right, today we have Quentin Pullen on the podcast. Now, this is been a exciting opportunity for us because we are actually helping Quentin run for mayor, Mayor of Costa Mesa. And when I say helping run, you’ll hear about it more in the episode. But it’s something if you followed art of coaching for a long time, you know, we could easily just be called the art of conversation or the art of communication. We help leaders from every field find their way through obstacles, whether their interpersonal nature, in nature, intrapersonal, whether they’re career oriented, anything like that we focus on communication skills. So, you know, when Quentin reached out, he said, Hey, you know, I feel like I’ve been a little bit marginalized by this community, you know, I want to do more, I’ve been very passionate about this, and you’ll learn, he is a Marine Corps veteran, a Navy Reserve veteran, a small business owner, and he was a manual therapist for 25 years, and he’s a coach. And, to be able to jump into something bigger is something I really respect. When I started this podcast immediately, even though our audience is absolutely not, just at this training conditioning profession, we’ve expanded into other realms tremendously. We still serve that audience. And one thing that’s always I’ve always felt is strength coaches and sports performance. Individuals sell themselves short. We see people in so many other professions continue to evolve. And if you’ve followed me for a while, I harp on this, I harp on this, you can get involved in different ways. I was once accused of being a sellout because I wanted to speak and encourage a bigger world to do things. Yeah, we have people like Jocko Willink, and Joe Rogan’s and all these people that have expanded into doing things beyond what their normal day to day trade was, and you guys should do that, too. So Quentin is an inspiring person to learn from we’re going to talk about all things politics and don’t worry, I know this is coming around a time where people can get sensitive, this isn’t Republican versus Democrat, nothing like that. Just what politics means in terms of their perception of how to overcome certain obstacles in your community, how you can better band together to overcome certain kinds of stigma and bias and the conversations that we should be having. You know, we talk about a lot of these kinds of pieces here. Also, guys I really want to encourage you, many of you reach out and have said, Hey, enjoy the podcast, how can I help? I’m really bad at asking for help. I’m miserable at it. As a matter of fact, I just grew up in a family where you were kind of taught to roll your sleeves up and do it yourself. But where you can help really easy is leave a review, leave a review for the podcast on iTunes, believe it or not, that all functions on an algorithm and it’s very easy for big celebrity driven podcasts to drown out the little guys.because they can put something out and 8 million people will say it’s the best thing ever. Were we often and myself included. Don’t think about that. So when you leave a review, it is like supporting a small business. It does help more people find our episodes, and we are the underdogs podcast right? We choose not to reach out to just celebrities to gain a following. We want to speak to real people overcoming real challenges. People like Coach pew if reviews aren’t your thing, or you don’t have iTunes or what have you. You can also become a patron of the podcast and go to artofcoaching.com/patron that’s P A T R O N and we’re grateful for any support we give up a ton of time for free. We’re glad to do it. We want to serve you guys and your support helps us find great guests and keep the audio quality and the editing clean and just Good listening experience. So either way, we appreciate your help. All right, we’re gonna get into some uncomfortable topics. Remember or quick disclaimer, if you have kids in the car, we are talking about sensitive issues there is sexual related content in this. There are words that are, you know racially charged to a degree in this. You know Quentin being a member of the African American community, or the black community talks about some things. He’s gone through words. He’s been named, he’s been called. So this is your warning, right? We’re all adults. But this is your warning. Make sure you don’t go away from tough discussions, but if you have kids in the car, this is not an episode for you. Alright, without further ado, the art of coaching podcast, Quentin Pullen. Let’s go. Everybody, thanks for joining me with my conversation today with Coach Q quit in Poland. What’s up, brother?

Quentin Pullen 5:49

What’s happening? How you doing Man?

Brett Bartholomew 5:51

Good. Hey, it’s always nice to have a podcast with another podcaster because the and not a hobbyist podcaster. Right, somebody that’s actually doing it loves it, because the conversation all, conversations are or have aspects about them that are good. But when you’re with another person who knows that conversation is also an art form. it makes me look forward to the episode even more.

Quentin Pullen 6:13

Absolutely. I love talking to people. So I’m looking forward to this.

Brett Bartholomew 6:17

Yeah. Hey, me, too, man. And so, you know, I’ve told you before the show, and as we’ve gotten to know each other, we have a diverse audience, right, a lot of professionals from a wide variety of fields. And one thing that really compelled me to want to get you on the show is you had gone through our communication training program. And then you had also said, Yo, like, I’m running for mayor. And that caught me off guard, right? Because we talked about in the intro, now you’ve served in the military, you’re a coach, and I have a lot of love for people that don’t let themselves be singularly defined. So when you said you’re running for mayor, I was geeked out and full transparency, guys, were helping Q with his campaign. But talk to me a little bit about that, man, when did you decide that even though you’ve done these things, you’ve served in the military, you’re a coach, there’s so many things that you weren’t done defining yourself yet? And then you took on a daunting task of trying to do it within politics?

Quentin Pullen 7:11

Well, okay, let me start by saying this, and I appreciate you being willing to help me, a lot of people will go out and ask for help. And if you don’t have a certain name, or certain recognition, people kind of will pull you in. So last year, in January, I made the decision to run for office, and I made that decision. Because, you know, you hear people use this, this catch word of being activated. You know, I’ve been activated for quite a while, but I didn’t know where to put that energy. So I’ve been putting that energy into my community with, silently going around helping people in the community and doing things like that. But let me start off by saying this. Last year, when I made a decision to run, I was on my way back to Atlanta, and I had been following you for quite a while and I had a lot of respect for I’m the type of person that will, boy you’re listening and allow myself to have an opinion on an analysis of a person. So I’ve been listening to you for quite a while reading your stuff. I read, conscious coaching and things like that. And so it was between you and a couple other coaches out there.

Brett Bartholomew 8:23

Oh, damn, it was like that. I didn’t know it was a competition. I didn’t know we had that. Okay, this is getting good. Now. I keep going.

Quentin Pullen 8:30

Yeah. So I reached out to you and I reached out to him. I’m coming back to Atlanta, would you like to do a workout and it was on Instagram, it was direct message. And I know and I heard your podcast, I don’t check my direct messages. And if you reach me to say that You come out here, I don’t know you. And so I was like, All right. Okay, so

Brett Bartholomew 8:50

listen, I didn’t say I don’t know, you. Let’s, let’s pump the brakes here. Now, if you’re new, if you’re a new listener, I have a fair amount of anxiety and I like I also overcommit. So a lot of Yes, like right now I’m absolutely I have helped with my emails in terms of somebody else. We I have an executive assistant, right? We invest in that. And then there’s times where like, some people will get off digital and social media in general. I don’t get off of it. But I need space. And when you get the same questions again and again, and you try to answer them and you try to like sometimes you just need to take a step back, you know, and so what I’ve tried doing is creating boundaries. And yeah, man, like you make it a little bit harder to reach you. And then the right people stay at it in the right way. And you’re one of those people.

Quentin Pullen 9:36

Yeah, and that’s exactly I’m glad you said that. That’s exactly what I did. I go, I’m going to allow. I got advice from one of the coaches that I was looking at and she’s she said to me, that’s one thing. You need to engage more and I was like, I thought that was

Brett Bartholomew 9:53

like online or what, =online or in what capacity?

Quentin Pullen 9:57

Yeah, on social media.

Brett Bartholomew 9:58

It takes a lot of time, man

Quentin Pullen 9:59

Don’t tell but you have to engage. And so yeah, you and I started engaging you more, there’s a little tag that I put on my posts, and it’s the Rasta, three colors, the red, yellow, green. And that was one of the first questions you asked me what does this mean? And so we started engaging that way. And we started having this dialogue back and forth. And I continue to listen to your stuff. And I continue to plan my run for office. And so finally, I go, I’m gonna reach out to this guy to let him know that I’m running for office and, I want his help I’ve seen your the art of coaching has things that you do, and I go, he could actually help me be a better leader. So that’s exactly why I chose you to be the guy that would help guide me through this communication process. Because bottom line, man is you’re good at what you’re doing. I appreciate that.

Brett Bartholomew 10:45

I appreciate, we geeked out over it. I mean, we’ve had, you know, COVID has given everybody enough challenges and what have you, but I remember a lot of our clinics related to the coaching or physical therapy side of things kind of died down as it’s some of it. Now we’re doing a lot of stuff, virtual teams, or what have you in medical and other professions, but we hadn’t gotten into politics. Now, a big part of my next project is about power dynamics and politics and those things and not not politics, politics, but the politics we deal with as people, right interpersonal micro politics. And so when you reach out, I remember looking my wife, I go, Hey, somebody wants to help like us to help them run for mayor, and one of my friend, my wife was shot, but one of my other buddies who’s out of the profession, he’s in finance. He says, Why are you surprised, man, this is communication, and if you’re gonna be in the communication side of things, you’re gonna get around people real quick, who understand everything is communication, it sounds like this guy is one of them. So it’s really a kudos andcredence to you too

and like getting into that, I think there’s a valuable nugget to unpack there. Because let’s say somebody’s trying to reach out to somebody and we’ve talked about barriers. There’s a great episode with my friend Brianna battles where we’ve talked about barriers and it’s something that I struggled with for a long time, because you feel this guilt if you’re not helping as many people as possible, but then, you know, if you don’t have barriers, you’re never gonna get the work done. Right. Like I can, if I don’t have barrier Yes, I can answer every DM every email all this but then I will never get another book written or another course made or another anything, right. And so that was an episode we had unpacked in the past. You want to help one people or 1000, one person or 1000? Sorry. And but one thing I hope people take from you is you you did this thing that I always recommend if you just cold reach out to people Yeah, you might get lucky, you might see it what have you. But when you actually focus on earning their trust, by engaging with their content, you did you left thoughtful comments every day, you distinguished yourself by adding, like, if I say, hey, comment on the post below, about an experience that, challenge you. Some people are like, they just do like a little emoji like you always left. And there’s some other folks too, Caitlin Lyons, who’s in our coalition does it and many others. But that makes you stand out now, even if I am I kind of trying to keep my space. I can’t ignore that after a while. I’m like, yo, that dude is actually interested to the point where he’s providing value. And that’s what made you stand out for what it’s worth, man.

Quentin Pullen 13:10

Yeah, so let me go back to You asked me see your original question. Why did I decide to run for office? Well, you know, service is, I mean, that’s what we do as coaches, man, we were in a service industry. So my, life has been about service. My father was a was a pastor up until the time he passed away. And he made sure that our entire life that we knew that life was not just about us get out and help people, whether it be in your neighborhood, whether it being a church, wherever it is, I learned at a young age that life is about service. And when you serve, you actually feel a lot better. So I started noticing the political climate, the political divide in and let me preface this by saying I don’t have a political party,

Brett Bartholomew 14:02

right This isn’t a show about Yeah, nobody has to worry, we’re not going to talk about this side of the aisle, that side of it. Like we’re just This is a show about making, like, feeling like you don’t want to definded yourself singularly and getting involved in something.

Quentin Pullen 14:15

Absolutely. Yeah. With not having a political party. It allows me to step outside of, the teams, and I like to I use this reference a lot to people that especially that are our age that I go, you know, we have devolved into gang wars. We’re fighting over colors in our political system. Yeah, just like that the movie from the 80s colors, you know, we’re fighting over red and blue, you know, and so, we’ve now evolved to the point where we want to kill each other and that’s just not satisfactory to me, you know, as a military person, understanding that my job was to go to other places and defend America. You know, I didn’t ever have to defend America against other Americans, you know, I never thought that I would have to interject myself into a place without have to do that. So looking at all this stuff, I realized that a coach is a person who influences to the positive, you know. And so I decided that I have a positive influence. And the people that I see on a daily basis, the people that I come into contact with in my community. And so let me get out there in the forefront and start leading store. So I allowing myself to be of service to more than just my business more than just, you know, the neighborhood, I want to be of service to every single place that I can be of service. So that’s what sparked me to get into politics.

Brett Bartholomew 15:40

Yeah, well, I think that’s a solid answer. And, not just leading, let’s be honest, leading in a very public way, because I think coaches, in the coaching community, it’s very much a behind the scenes and there’s value and being behind the scenes, not everybody needs to be out in front, right, I have a friend named Edward who works out in the UK. And he talks about, we need more love for the people behind the people, the ones that are really supporting, but you are for better or worse now in the public eye. And I know that when I started expanding an early obstacle that I face, and we still face it, you know, thankfully, our communities helping us overcome this, but, you know, was being stereotyped as Oh, yeah, but you were a performance coach, or a strength coach, like, what do you know about x? What do you know about why? And I’m like, Well, my job is to communicate my job is, you know, a lot of psychology understanding what makes people tick. And by the way, that’s what I studied pervasively now, in my doctoral work, and otherwise, and like, when did you get that? I mean, at first, surely somebody had to be like, Yo, aren’t you a quote unquote, personal trainer? What are you doing running for Mayor? Did anybody give you that? Or have you not really had any of those you have?

Quentin Pullen 16:44

Absolutely. You know, the funny thing is, that people will take you at face value and not dive deeper, because they’re lazy about research, you know. And so the information is there. I said to people, the people that says, Oh, he’s just a coach, I go, Well, if you Google my name, you’re going to see that there’s way more layers for me than just Yeah, Coach, you know, before I was a coach, you know, I worked in the corporate industry, you know, but I was always passionate about helping people reach their highest potential. So the fitness and coaching thing for me was just second nature. So that leadership ability to help people on that level, if you can help people, you can help people on all levels, all you have to do is engage and communicate. And so it just takes that communication of going, Hey, I see that you have this issue, or I see that you need help with this and being willing to be the person that is helping instead of being the person that’s criticizing, you know, you had a podcast and you said, there was a couple things, you know, and one of the things that stuck with me is, before you criticize, seek to understand, you know, and so that is the, the position that I’m taking in politics is I don’t want to criticize anybody, I’m running against other candidates. I’m not going to criticize them. That’s what they do in their life is their business. You know, what,

Brett Bartholomew 18:07

you’re not gonna criticize them like personally or in terms of profession, because some of them I mean, you’re gonna have to get in a debate, you’re gonna have to I mean, as this thing continues to progress, right. There’s, some debates that you get in public forum, or is there not?

Quentin Pullen 18:20

There’s debates, but the thing about debates, this is about issues, not about people.

Brett Bartholomew 18:26

Yeah. So you’re not attacking them personally.

Quentin Pullen 18:28

Yes. See, yeah, I’m gonna talk about in debates about policy, but what you do, personally, and about your family, and also the, I don’t need to attack you to make my point. And I think a lot of people get lost. Right now. I’m looking at a lot of people endorsing other candidates. And and these are candidates that are running for office right now. And some who have never had a position in government or service

Brett Bartholomew 18:52

like you.

Quentin Pullen 18:53

Like me. Yeah, yeah. And they’re endorsing other candidates. And what I’m thinking is endorsing, okay, what does that actually mean? You know, what I’m doing is I am presenting my platform to the voters of Costa Mesa, and saying, If you like what you hear, and you come to see me and you like the person that I am, the biggest endorsement that I can get as your vote. I don’t need to align myself with a lot of other people in a think tank, that we all think differently. You know, I want people to come into office with fresh ideas that are their ideas, not something that like one of the things like no, I saw this, it’s we need to take our city back and I’m thinking to myself, take our city back from WHO and from what, or back to

Brett Bartholomew 19:39

emotion sells, right, people will use the right and I think people don’t understand kind of the value. I mean, you see the same thing in our field. There was a post the other day and from a great person, right like so this is nothing personal. It’s just a belief of mine, but they said hey, for you know, we’ve talked a lot about this show about leadership and uncommon leadership strategies, right. I look at art of coaching As the anti leadership leadership company, we’re not about fluff. We’re not about rah, yeah, let’s go. But somebody had posted, hey, you know, for strength and conditioning to be valued and respected as a profession. And now seeing more as leaders, we have to show the programs we write and no like that, like, when you think personal attacks are showing progress, like these things aren’t perceived the way we think they are. And believe me know, any profession that has been legitimized, right, if somebody’s ready, you’re not gonna get elected mayor, just because you show your plan. there’s competence and warmth, there’s empathy and authority. But like, where I was getting with that cue is, you know, so many of our listeners or people that want to do more, you know, they don’t want to die feeling like, oh, my gosh, I could have done this, but at the same time, procedurally, they don’t always know where to start, and they don’t want to be wrong, or they don’t want to be criticized, you know, give some tips of how did you mentally prepare yourself to know Alright, I’m going into the lion’s den, I am going into politics, I have no experience. And I have easy pickings, because they’re gonna I mean, you said it, they came at you, because of, you know, your background, or the lack of experience there. They even came at you because you had a Black Lives Matter flag in your garage, right like this. They want to pigeonhole you. So how do you make sure you don’t react to that, and you just keep your cool and steady?

Quentin Pullen 21:21

Well, something you said a little bit earlier about people being in the background, right? When leaders, even if a leader is in the background, doing his own thing, a leader still notices, you know, and so the first stage of you want to get involved is to say, Hey, I’m gonna step out front, you know, because when you step out front, that means I’m making a decision to let everybody know that I’m putting myself in a position to help, you know, and to step up and be more than just a behind the scenes voice. You know, if you are a leader, it’s hard to be behind the scenes, you know, so, and if you’re a leader, you have to understand that, everybody’s not going to think like you, you know, and there are going to be people that want to knock you off the pedestal, you know, and so for me, there’s the old cliche of having thick skin, what I realize is that, when people communicate with you, they’re communicating from their own level, not from yours. Yeah,

Brett Bartholomew 22:25

that’s true.

Quentin Pullen 22:25

And so when a person

Brett Bartholomew 22:26

how they see the world,

Quentin Pullen 22:28

yeah, if a person want to insult me, that’s not about me, it’s about them. It’s about how they feel. So I go, I’m sorry, you feel that way? You know, let’s create a relationship together, you know, have a conversation where you can understand that this communication, your misinterpretation of who I am, or what I am, can be solved with a little bit of research and communication. So, you know, I’m not afraid of, I understand that failing is human, you know, I’m gonna fail, I’m going to fail every single day at something, you know, but I take those lessons. And I go, Look, I learned something from that. And this is going to allow me to be a better person, a better leader in all those things. Because I’m not sitting here telling people, I can do this myself My biggest slogan for my campaign, is this. A vote for me is a vote for the ideal that we’re stronger together. Right? Yeah. And so

Brett Bartholomew 23:26

which is easy to say, I mean, that can be cliche for a lot of people, so like, talk to me, like, how do you battle that? Because in politics, you have to phrase some things. You know, everybody needs a headline, it just is what it is like people have headlines for their campaigns or what have you. But where do you balance that of making sure that you say it in a way that sticks with people, but at the same time, it doesn’t sound like the same cliche that everybody else does write faster, alone,

Quentin Pullen 23:53

Yeah. Well, when I get into conversations with people, I go, I’m not only asking for your vote, I’m asking for your participation. I’m asking for you to be responsible in your community. I’m asking for one hour, one hour, a month of your time to come and volunteer in your community. What that does for me is it shows me that you’re not just going to sit behind your keyboard and insult the politicians, your local politicians, you know, your national, what you’re doing now is by giving me that one hour is you’re admitting that hey, I know that it’s going to take me and you to make our community better, not just you, you know, so I’m putting it back on the people and saying, you know, we have our things and our customers we the people everything starts with we the people so I’m asking we the people to come and help me lead our city. I don’t just want to be like he’s the leader of our city. No, we are the leader of our city. I didn’t just a person that of influence that can bring people together to reach the goals that we’re trying to reach in our city.

Brett Bartholomew 24:56

So with that, you know, again, if somebody is struggling with That imposter phenomenon. And they’re like, I mean, think about this. They’re listening to somebody that had no political background, nothing like this. I mean, of course, you’re passionate about your city, you’re the people that oppose you would like, you know, they want to kind of diminish that by saying You’re a good cheerleader for the city. But we have people that again, how do you take that first step? Did you just get fed up? Like, did you just get fed up with it? Like, what was the breaking point? What was the inciting incident so that if somebody’s listening right now, they feel this kind of burning thing within them of saying, I want to do something, but I’m not quite ready. Like when did it finally reach a break even point where you’re like, enough? Is enough? I’m going in?

Quentin Pullen 25:38

That’s, a fantastic question. last year, January 2018, we had a government shutdown, our government was shut down for about a month in some and some change. And in that time, the government workers still had to go to work, you know, and I put myself in that place. I’m like, I used to be a government worker, you know, and the military, I was still have to go to work without getting paid. And my bills were still there, and all this. So I took it upon myself in our community to, I called up our mayor and I said, Listen, I would like to go over and feed one at a shift of the airport workers that are, you know, furloughed, or that are not making money right now. So what I did was I put out a post, I had some friends and clients who donate a few dollars, so that I could go buy lunch, for the TSA workers at the airport. And so I have pictures where I’m willing, this wheelbarrow full of food and things, and I gave these workers gas cards, and, you know, lunch and things like that. And that’s the least that I could do as a concerned citizen. Two months later, our mayor, current mayor was our first duly elected mayor, you know, two months after she assumes office, she says, Oh, I’m going to go and run for state senate. That to me was it didn’t sit well with me, because what I thought was here, the people of our city just elected you. And what you’re telling us is, thank you, but I’m gonna go do something else. And if I get elected in a couple of months, I’m just going to leave the city, under someone else’s guidance that wasn’t elected. And so that didn’t sit well with me. And so what I said to myself was, I’m a leader. I’ve lived in Costa Mesa for almost 30 years, and I’m gonna be here. So I’m a smart, capable guy. I started reading. I mean, I go to the city council meetings, when I started reading every piece of legislation on the website.

Brett Bartholomew 27:26

Well, that’s what I was gonna ask. And I don’t mean to interrupt like, but you’re getting into a new, you’re getting into a new space, what was that research like? And again, I’m thinking with the audience in mind, people that want to get into a new space people, you know, people will reach out to me and say, hey, if I want to write a book, if I want to create a speaking career, and we’ve done episodes on these things, if what was that first, those first few days, hours, metaphorically, of course, like, when you’re like, Alright, I gotta dive in. Because you got to play the. I mean, we’ve had some meetings about this, if you don’t mind me disclosing, right? Like for a while you were going into, hey, I’m not about a party. And and I told you I go, you can say that all you want. At some point, people need to know how to define you even if to a degree because I know you don’t define with a party. And, and that’s fine. But at some point, you’re going to have to play their game. And you’re going to have to use some kind of words to talk about where you stand. So how researching Did you research how they spoke? Did you research, you know, the best way to debate even when it comes to your website? Did you research that? How did you craft these things to know how to prepare for this kind of arena?

Quentin Pullen 28:28

Okay, so the very first thing that I did was, I Googled how to run for mayor.

Brett Bartholomew 28:33

Hey, you know what, that’s okay. There’s, you know what, I actually love that because there’s a running joke with me and some of my friends that and somebody will look at this as all you’re an ass but there’s a great service called Let me Google that for you. Right. And one thing we tried doing is I took like, the top 100 questions we got and either answered them on the podcast, or we have free PDFs, right, like, hey, what book should I read? How should I get started in my career? What are some common components of good communication? what advice you have for new leaders and coaches? What have you, and we made those PDFs one shot, one kill really good information, stuff I wish I would have had. But there’s some things that people will ask. It’s like, you know, if they just googled, right, like, just let And so anyway, there’s a service called Let me Google that for you. Where you can literally type it in and you send that person the link, and it shows the video of you typing that into Google. But like, as much as we laugh about that, why not start your research there? You got to start somewhere.

Quentin Pullen 29:30

It’s a search is information. My mom. My mom called me to ask me how to use a friggin ATM card at 70 something here. So you got mom about this. I go Google that shit

Brett Bartholomew 29:44

we’ll be there someday. I mean, I have to do the same thing with my mother. I’ll do videos for her periodically, but then I’m like, a short YouTube and granted what I’ve learned is there’s some people like my mother, for instance. She knows she can go to YouTube, but she just wants her son to help her. It’s a chance for us to connect. And I’m like, Mom, I’m on DIA and that’s cool. Right. So don’t don’t send let me Google that for you to your mom. But you know, alright, build off that. So you started Googling, and like, you know, what do you find? What advice did you like? What are the hours

Quentin Pullen 30:09

thing, the first thing that it is suggested is start going to city council meetings, you know, so that you can understand the process, you know, of what they do in the meetings, and what they’re deciding on. And I was like, Oh, that’s a cool thing. And so I started going to city council meetings. And then I’m fortunate enough, I have a group in Atlanta, I’ve traveled around the United States and around the world. And I’m fortunate enough to have friends in places and that have friends who have done things. And so I reached out to a really close friend of mine, who was friends with a mayor from Florida. And they go, can you connect me so that I can interview that person so I could talk to him about what the job of Mayor entails, you know, I didn’t want to go to school, I actually reached out to our current mayor, go, Hey, I would like to come and sit down with you for a meeting and she never reach back to me. So I reached out to the next best thing, I reached out to another mayor of another city, I’ve sat and talked with via zoom or phone or whatever, with a couple of different mayors about how to do this job. I reached out to the next neighboring city, to council members to say, how do you do this job? What is his job and tell him and people Oh, my God, it’s a lot. Well, I don’t ever I posted something the other day that says I don’t believe in issues, I believe in challenges. And every challenge can be met, you know, yeah. So this for me, it’s not even an issue. I did an interview last week, and my wife asked me, How are you not nervous? I said, because I’ve been preparing. You know, I’ve been preparing for the last few years for this job. And, I’ve been researching what it takes to do this job. Now what I will say, and people keep saying all the new thing. You’re new to politics and and that whole deal. Yeah, but every single person that gets elected for the first time is new to politics, and they’ve learned the job.

Brett Bartholomew 31:53

Well, I think that’s something our audience can definitely relate to, we get people that reach out and say, Hey, I didn’t get this job. Because they said I lacked experience, but how am I supposed to get experience if I can’t get the job? You know, and I think everybody can appreciate that to some degree where it’s like, ah, sometimes we lean on experience a little bit too much. And it’s tough, because of course, you need to have, I would say that, you know, but somebody can have, and we know this, somebody can have a ton of experience doing one thing one way, and then compared to somebody else. That’s what got a whole range of diverse experiences and dense experiences, you know, the myth of the expert, so it quote, unquote, the true subject matter expert doesn’t stand a chance. Because they’re not always great at putting together disparate ideas, like somebody like yourself, who’s new and curious. And, these things are,

Quentin Pullen 32:41

yeah, but so let’s talk about coaching, when it comes to new things, right? We get clients into our space. Would you ever on the first day to have a client comes into your gym? Have them deadlift? 500 pounds? not a frickin chance. What you’re going to do is go here are the basics, you know, master the basics, here’s the basic understanding of the job that you need to do. And you build from there. And so let me start with saying this. Politics is where the people it starts in your home, every single thing that’s in a political system is in your home, even down to your security.

Brett Bartholomew 33:21

That’s a good point. Yeah. Politics are everywhere. Like, and this is a good distinction. We’re actually going to do a separate episode on this micro politics and macro politics, macro being government level, you know, higher politics, micro politics. I mean, you engage with that with your neighbors, you know, and in your own marriage, right. It’s this dynamic and, we’ll save the nerd talk and defining it later. But yeah, you’re right. I mean, politics, but we all have experience in politics to a degree because it’s negotiating, it’s listening. It’s understanding you bring up a really excellent point.

Quentin Pullen 33:51

I mean, in my home, I have a financial department, you know, I have a cleaning department maintenance department, so hold on undermine me for experience in political service is in your home. So if you get good at doing those things at your home, take that stuff outside of your home. So I try to influence on a bigger level. If you go to a school if you meet a family that’s struggling, try to help them balance their lives the way you balanced your life. I would have never tried to step into the political scene if my own house was not in order, you know, and so that will be hypocritical of me to say, oh, yeah, I’m gonna go and try to influence my community to be better with my homelessness.

Brett Bartholomew 34:35

Yeah, but you’re cute. Let me push on that a little bit. Right and your lovely wife Nora is right next to you are somewhat right next to you. And we have the pleasure of talking on our communication calls as well. But you know, you talk about your own life being an order and your own house being order. Nobody has a perfect marriage. Let’s look at that. I mean, surely you and Nora, are you right? Like so. are you’re not telling people that they have to be perfect when you say you have to have your house in order are you

Quentin Pullen 34:59

no, I’m not saying Perfect. Okay. But

Brett Bartholomew 35:03

but, you know, Oh, you don’t Are you know, you know,

Quentin Pullen 35:06

this is what to do I’m older I would have expected that when when we want the thing that that I think sets us aside from all this kind of stuff is we’re so comfortable in our own skin. Yeah, that’s valuable. Yeah. You know and so when it comes to you asked me about people insulting me, I understand that a an insult only affects you if you identify with it.

Brett Bartholomew 35:32

That and depending on the source, you know it like? Because it is a sort of right like an endless.

Quentin Pullen 35:38

Okay, so let me let me you brought up the Black Lives Matter flat? Okay. Let me let me say this and I apologize to your audience now. Because the the impact of the word just to say the N word is completely don’t

Brett Bartholomew 35:53

apologize so that this is an audience that they give a shit. They’re not tuning in to hear a rah rah. And also give context, by the way, when you go into this, about the dude that you know what they attacked you about with that and what they tried turning it into so that they can you know, understand fully.

Quentin Pullen 36:07

Okay, so, you know, people I am the only black candidate running in this election right now,

Brett Bartholomew 36:15

in a really diverse community. By the way, Costa Mesa super diverse, a diverse

Quentin Pullen 36:19

community. Right. But blacks are same as a country where a minority community there are people do their due diligence, and I appreciate that I told every single person that asked me questions, thank you for doing your research, you know, a person was on my social media. And just so happened to see that I had a Black Lives Matter flag on my wall, okay. But I also have a Marine Corps flag, a Romanian flag in the United States flag, but the Black Lives Matter flag is the only flag that they fixated on. And they asked me, What is your position on Black Lives Matter? How do you feel about Black Lives Matter? And my answer was very simple. It’s, I am a black life, you know, I am a black life, it will be so disingenuous of me to say, my life doesn’t matter. You know, that’s like, hey, somebody just beat the crap out of me and take my life. So for me, I believe that my life matters. You know, I understand the historical context of blacks in America. So a movement that is for equality. If it was a brown lives matter, I’d be supporting the same way. Because I understand that we’re, human beings. Equality just means that the playing field is level, you know.

So I say that to say this. In my community, I’ve lived in Costa Mesa since the end of my enlistment, I have never been called out of my name, or calledl a bad word before. In 2016. I’m driving in my community, and there’s a car full of kids next to me, and they’re dancing, and we’re at a stoplight. When the light turns green, they look over at me, and they scream at me fucking nigger. And I’m just like, what, you know, and

Brett Bartholomew 38:00

are you serious.

Quentin Pullen 38:02

I’m dead serious. And the first thing that I wanted to do was follow him in my car, because I’m like, I’m tough. I’m gonna kick the crap out of you, you know, but I thought about this. I go, they’re not referring to me, you know, what they’re referring to as their own ignorance, right? And so, if you identify and if you allow them to get under your skin and to make you react like that, then you know better than them, you know, and so people can insult me all they want to what I understand is, that’s not my truth. You know? My truth is, is that I’m a nice person. I’m a pretty decent husband, you know, I’m a pretty Okay, Coach. Yeah, I’m a son. I’m a brother. I’m all these things and fucking niggers, that one of the things that I

Brett Bartholomew 38:44

No I mean, dude, I mean, you’re talking about I mean, this is also my wife had sent me something the other day, and it was a tweet somebody put out and it was like how Twitter works, but you could easily replace it with how the world works to a degree and it says, you know, quote, and this is metaphorical somebody, right? It says me, I prefer mangoes to oranges, random person. So basically what you’re saying is that you hate oranges. You also failed to mention pineapples, bananas and grapefruits why don’t you educate yourself, you know, and we actually

Yeah, my wife is on it. Well, and it brings up a good point and and I’ve been hiding from something for a while because it’s a deep podcast subject that I’m doing a solo episode on leaders emotions, right? And how we manage that and manage those attacks because I’ll go Wolverine real quick, you know, I used to now when people try baiting me into stuff and there’s still some stuff that I’ll be like, Okay, should I give them the heat or not? You know, and there’s certain things that I just know that that’s bait, you know, it’s that Tom Hardy, if you’ve seen Mad Max, he’s, he’s pointing at this thing. He goes, That’s bait. And there are certain people that just live for the reaction, right? Let’s focus on that topic for a minute. These people that live for a reaction, and they’ll do whatever they can, especially for somebody like you who’s quote unquote, new, they’re gonna test every single thing and I think that’s important for our audience to understand when you go into a new To position or when you navigate into a new space, people, it’s like Tony Stark or like Ironman goggles, they’re looking for little weak points that they can penetrate. And man, like, it’s just like, I think when you realize that that’s to be expected in a lot and educate me right? Even when somebody uses something like that kind of a term, which they know, they know, 98% of people in the black population, maybe 99.9 are going to lose it over, you exhibit more power keeping your Columbian like, Bro, that’s you like, don’t try to bring me into that. Am I right? Or am I ignorant on that?

Quentin Pullen 40:39

100% right, man, it’s when you give people power over you, they can take advantage of you ,

Brett Bartholomew 40:45

letting them live in your head rent free.

Quentin Pullen 40:48

all day long. And that’s one of the things in coaching that I tell people I go, Listen, this person might be stronger than you at this movement. But don’t focus on them focus on you focus on your impact, focus on how well you are doing at this. Because eventually, you’re going to be just as good as they are. But if you compare yourself to people all the time, that means you’re trying to identify with them, that means you’re trying to live up to their expectations. Don’t do that live up to yours. I mean, I’m telling people this right now, I’m coming with fresh ideas. You know, every single person that ever runs for office says I want to make this better. You know, I’ve only known a one person that says this person, this place is crap. And you know, you know, so I look at every single person has the same platform of I want to make our community better, you know? And so, with that people like, how are you going to do that? Well, I’m gonna do that with your help, you know, yeah, and

Brett Bartholomew 41:43

collective process because leadership is not about one person.

Quentin Pullen 41:46

It’s not about one person. And so I go, I’m gonna do this with your help. So when I’m when you see me, and I got a trash bag, and I’m picking up trash, by myself, and you pass by me in a car, maybe next time, come on, and help me do that, because two of us work and it’s better than one of us working, you know?

Brett Bartholomew 42:03

So 100% No, I’m glad you allowed us to go there. Because leadership emotions, and those things are huge. And, you know, I’m very big on the gray area. You know, there’s a reason we do so much improv and stuff is there’s great research on improv and leadership development. Because as much as in the past, we’ve touted trait based theories of Oh, leaders gotta be charismatic, they got to be positive. Well, more than that leaders gotta be adaptable. And it’s not always bright, sunny emotion. So talk to me about this and feel free to disagree, right? So we have this idea. And the notion that this classic transformational leadership, acknowledges or suggests that leaders have to be charismatic, they have to be inspirational, they have to be positive, if they want to build buy in, but when might that not be the case? Q? You know, when is the case where, if at all, because again, this is an open discussion, right? We’re not scripting this, like, when do you feel like it doesn’t pay to be charismatic and inspirational? Like, what do you consider the opposite of those things? And when might that be a more effective leadership strategy?

Quentin Pullen 43:01

I think that a leader should always have some semblance of charisma, because I think the better communicator you are, it kind of comes natural, because you understand that what is coming out of your mouth is influence, you know,

Brett Bartholomew 43:21

yeah, so leadership is influence for sure.

Quentin Pullen 43:24

You can either influence to the positive or influence to the negative, I believe that we should always be inspirational. Even with a negative message, you know, this is happening, but we can absolutely change that by doing this thing. So if you allow people to, wallow in misery, they’re going to stay there, you know, but if you try to continually lift people out of that miserable state by telling people, our community, I did an interview last week, and I said, Listen, we’re not having riots and looting in our community. We have a bunch of beautiful smart people in Costa Mesa that are very capable and creative. I want to tap into those things. Yeah, because the the negative the negative is not helping people, people get into a fight. One person is going to get their butt kicked, the other person is going to win. The person that got their butt kicked. You can’t draw when from getting your butt kicked

Brett Bartholomew 44:21

now I boxed and I lost my second fine. I learned a hell of a lot more from my second loss.

Quentin Pullen 44:26

But you can learn a lesson from a loss. Yeah, but you don’t feel like a winner when you lose, right?

Brett Bartholomew 44:34

No, no, especially I remember the time I grew up

Quentin Pullen 44:36

is our lessons and wins or lessons too. So I want people to always understand that. We can be better, you know, if you lose that ability to think and to feel that things can always get better. Then we’re doomed.

Brett Bartholomew 44:54

it’s good point

Quentin Pullen 44:55

even in coaching, you know in life in your relationships. If you think that something cannot get better, it will not get better. You know, but if you have that intuitive theme and says, Look, things can always get better, incrementally. Even if it’s a small percentage of better, it’s better, you know. So we as a society need to get to the point where we understand that a little bit better is better. A little bit worse, is frickin worse. You know,

Brett Bartholomew 45:23

I think society needs to get to a point where they embrace imperfect leaders, right? I think society and I’m ready for somebody to string me up for this one. But I let’s say, and I’m gonna make up a person. Let’s say somebody’s running for mayor of my town right now. Okay. And you know what, there’s actually an episode of this. You know what, we’re gonna get really real. There was an episode on one of my favorite shows on TV billions. And are you familiar?

Quentin Pullen 45:45

Oh, I love it.

Brett Bartholomew 45:45

Yeah, you love billions. Right? Right. So remember, there was an episode called the Overton window. And I remember that it stuck out to me because I was reading about the Overton window and some of the research I do. At the same time this episode was on and and without going too far into it audience or guys, you know, the Overton Window is basically this model for understanding what ideas in society are okay to talk about, and what aren’t, you know, it might actually end up being the title of this episode, since you dropped, you know, you mentioned the N word, right? Like that is something that is generally outside of the Overton window. It’s on one spectrum people typically do not want to, like not bring that up, right? It’s like, the C word in the United States. Although if I go to Australia, this see words, a term of endearment, and this is the muddiness of communication, but also the wonderful nature of it. So anyway, the point is, and this all going back to embracing imperfect leaders in that a gentleman running for office, and he’s got his demons, as do we all let’s be honest, it comes out that him and his wife engage in s&m type sexual activities. This is his wife, and somebody is trying to blackmail him. Somebody’s trying to you remember this? Yeah.

So let me pause you real quick.

We’re just getting into the good. You can’t pause me after I say .

Quentin Pullen 46:57

No, because you brought up something that was you brought up my wonderful wife over here. Nora, and I had this conversation last week, because we were talking about the fall fall. Well, Jerry Falwell, that whole situation that happened with them.

Brett Bartholomew 47:11

I mean, they’re into that tell me real quick out of me.

Quentin Pullen 47:14

So they’re the Liberty University Christian. Jim Falwell was the father of pastors, religious people, and it came out that they’ve been swinging with different guys. guy, watch his wife, with the guys. And so what my wife and I had a conversation about that. And what we said was, what if a candidate said that, hey, yes, my wife, and I like doing this? Is that a disqualifying thing? that’s an agreement between a couple in their relationship, that it’s not up for discussion or judgment from other people, because that’s an agreement that you have in your relationship.

Brett Bartholomew 47:50

But some people would argue and this is good, some people would argue that it is up for discussion, because they’re the ones that vote for him. You know, some people could say like, in Paul Giamatti his characters case in billions, right. What they’re doing is internally in the marriage and somebody’s meaning to blackmail him. So, let’s say somebody out there, male, female, no matter how they identify pronouns, what have you. Let’s say you ran for office and an old Dropbox or Google Drive account of photo came out. And this happened actually with the ATNT woman, the I don’t know her name, and I don’t know the whole story. So I won’t go, I’m not gonna like, prognosticate too deeply. Right. But essentially, people found old photos of her that they thought were posing in the suggestive fashion. You know, what man, like to a point, like, who cares if I see a candidate running what him and his wife or wife and her husband do behind closed doors, like shame on the person,

I talked about this, we have a society making heroes out of haters. You know what I mean? And who do you think is going to ever want to run for office? If everybody is constantly worried about an old tweet, an old photo, an old whatever, like, these are things people learn? You know, now in the swinging example, that’s another level, right? Because that’s extra marital, you know, but I also understand what you’re saying it’s an agreement they have. And what you and I are talking about is not swinging, certainly, what we’re talking about. the gray area and the messiness and the fact that people think somebody is eloquent as a Barack Obama is gonna come. And somebody is savvy, let’s say the best political, whoever would vote the best Republican president of all time, whoever that would, let’s say the best of both were and I’m not saying Obama is the best of Democrats, anything like that, right? Oh, no we’re in Messy territory, my wife. Now I feel like I have to say, hey, my wife and I are registered independents. But let’s say there was a dream team draft and we had the best Democrat of all time and the best Republican and we put them together, that person is still going to have things wrong with them. And we can’t expect these things. As a leader. We can’t expect good leaders to emerge. But then as a society, go on these witch hunts every five seconds about something,

Quentin Pullen 48:59

right? It’s, it’s like are you looking to help build a community are you looking to take down a community. And so, you know, I’m with you, man. And what I say is, if a person came up to me today and says, Hey, Coach, I heard that you smoke weed before?

Brett Bartholomew 50:11

Yes. You’re like, Yes, I have whatever

Quentin Pullen 50:13

When I say I didn’t. Yes, I did. You know? Did you like it? Fuck yeah, I liked it.

Brett Bartholomew 50:17

And how do you learn from something if you don’t experience whatever that thing is, that’s your teenage years, you know, you tell teenagers not to try something. And of course, you have their best interest, right? I’m a father and why but like, they’re gonna the only way they’re gonna learn like that the day one kid learns, oh, maybe I shouldn’t, you know, drink too much. Right? Like they feel that hangover. And that’s experiential learning. I remember that was me the very first time I ever drank and I’m lame. And I’m not much of a drinker. And it’s not really people always in college would be like, Oh, is it because you’re a fitness guy? I’m like, No, I don’t I it’s mostly it’s just the most unmanly answer ever. I don’t like the taste of most booze. I like wine. Right. But let’s say the very first time I did drink and I was maybe 14 or 15 I overdid it. And I remember waking up the next day and I’m like, Who the hell wants to feel like this now? I overdid it. So somebody that loves a casual drink and I could care less right all my good like if I’m around a bunch of people having whiskey and why what I could care less That’s them. Right? But I’m talking about people learn through sometimes experiencing extremes, extreme highs and lows. But I know I personally would never vote for a candidate who seems quote unquote, too good to be true. Right? Straight A’s. And you know, they’re perfectly dressed. They have a perfect No, no, no, that person it. My wife and I talked about this, the person that lives in your neighborhood that’s got the immaculate lawn, the perfect Christmas lights, they’re the ones with the most shit going on. They are. I don’t trust it. I don’t trust it. Dude, you’re mowing your lawn, but you’re mowing your lawn, like four times. I don’t trust it. I think that’s what gives people hope in this episode, hopefully is like you are somebody that’s running. You were defined one way, right? Coach Q and before that a soldier and you’re always a soldier, and you’re always a service, man. But like, now you’re running for office, because you’re evolving as a person. You’re not perfect, you are new. And guess what, that’s why those are strengths.

Quentin Pullen 52:12

Yes, yes. Yes, absolutely. And what I say to people is, we should all be evolving and learning every single day. You know,

Brett Bartholomew 52:20

but people say that, but they don’t do that. You know, people say that, but they don’t really do it. You know,

Quentin Pullen 52:25

I noticed I say I should, right? We should be but we’re not all of us, you know, and what I mean by that? And you put an another episode about I think it’s eight things that you do daily, you know, and one was your focus on your business.

Brett Bartholomew 52:42

Oh, you’re talking about the productivity that matters. So the financial the spiritual, the relief?

Quentin Pullen 52:47

Yeah, exactly. You know, and so, that resonated with me, too. I was like, Okay, well, I didn’t do eight I’m like, Look, I least can do those five man. So I do something for my business everyday, something from my spirituality, something from my frickin noggin, I gotta increase my intelligence, my thoughts. I do something to make my wife’s life easier. You know, every single day, you know, whether it be making her breakfast, whether it be taking the dog out to go poop, whatever it is, you know, right. I do something to make her life better every day. And then I do a random act of kindness every day, and I don’t tell people about it. Because it’s not for people to know. Yeah, it’s for me to know. Because I understand that when you do something for somebody, and it’s without any expectation, it makes you feel good. Yeah, I’m in to feeling good. So that’s what I do. So I am with you, man we ought to be and so one of the things that I want to do in office is to teach the community about the process, you know, come in and check out the process or get involved so that you don’t feel like your voice is not heard, you know, like, what you need is not being answered, you know, and it’s the same. exact thing and coaching, you know, we’ve coached classes with a bunch of people were a person that you’ll get this where people go, Well, you weren’t paying attention to me today, you know, and you go, Well, you were doing a good job. But people want that attention to them. So even if you walk by, and put your hand on a person or say, Hey, you’re doing a good job, you know, that interaction back and forth, makes people feel like doing a better job for you. And so my take on that in politics is I want to touch the community and say, Do you feel like doing more for your community? I want to influence people to want to do more for the community, instead of wanting to just sit behind a keyboard and insult people, you know?

Brett Bartholomew 54:45

Yeah, I mean, what you’re talking about, and by the way, if anybody’s interested, you know what Q is referenced in that episode. It’s episode 49. And it just is about you know, I don’t always identify with these to do lists and what have you. So he’s talking about how I try to look at what is this That’s all day for me. And I break down these categories. It’s a quick episode. But yeah, you’re right. I mean, listen, change management is just tough when you’re looking at whether organizational, political, you know, you’re looking at something where you’re fighting tradition, you’re fighting a lack of trust and buy in, you’re fighting people that at the end of the day, you’re fighting inertia, let’s just break it down like that, you know, and when you think about when somebody says, What is the thing you want most in somebody you hire, or as a leader, I think people have to get away from I want somebody that’s positive, and I want somebody that’s this and that and quit thinking about traits. I want somebody that is knowledgeable about how to manage change, I want somebody that’s flexible and adaptable. I want somebody that can balance the dark and the light. And I think that that’s what we’re missing, we continue to miss the gray area. And maybe it’s because I’m in the Midwest, right? I grew up in the Midwest meaning so we always joke that we kind of funneled out the craziness of America. Right? And but like the gray area is just like this thing that’s been lost, because people are trying to be a certain way. And when you’re trying to blend to fit all that, like you’re just it’s not going to work.

Quentin Pullen 56:10

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head, an adaptable person is a person that could fit into almost any job that you put them into, you know, and so, as a Marine, that’s one of our things, man, we adapt and overcome, you know, and so I’ve been hearing this my entire life, adapt and overcome. And so I have adapted myself into different situations, different scenarios, I’ve allowed myself to see different things, you know, different cultures, and so that compounds into the person that you are right now, you know, people will ask you, and people always say this, I am not the same person that I was five years ago, you know,

Brett Bartholomew 56:51

who was that five years ago?

Quentin Pullen 56:54

Five years ago, I had these aspirations of being

Brett Bartholomew 56:59

I didn’t know you five years ago, so there’s a genuine question I want to know,

Quentin Pullen 57:03

I, came from a bodybuilding background. I was intent on being a pro bodybuilder, you know, and I stepped out of that and I went to five years ago, thought I was going to be a triathlon runner obstacle course Racer Pro all. And so what I understood was, I’m getting older. And so although I love doing those things, I had to put it in perspective that, yeah, you can do these things, but you’re almost 50 years old. So that professional range is kind of gone for you, but you can still do the work, you know, so I’m adapting myself every single day to the surroundings that I see. And I’m accepting of those things instead of trying to resist those things. And so the things that I resist are the things that are harmful. You know, one of my political points is, if a business, a resident, whatever it be in our community, is intent to do our city good. That’s a good thing. And we should learn from all of those people. But if any of those things are harmful to our city, we shouldn’t even entertain those, they, you know, if something was going to harm your home, you wouldn’t entertain that if something was going to harm your relationship, you wouldn’t entertain that if you were in a gym, and a coach told you to lift 1000 pounds and you knew was going to blow out your back. You wouldn’t do it. Because that’s an honest assessment of I know, I don’t have that skill set. I’m adaptable. But you know, I know what my limits are, you know?

Brett Bartholomew 58:38

Yeah, yeah. Well, knowing your limits, I think that’s a natural transition into one of the final points I really want to be You know, five yearsable to kind of chat with you about there’s so many more, you know, but we try to keep these like we always we’d rather do a part two, then like a four hour episode, right? That’s

Quentin Pullen 58:53

We’ll do part two, once I win you,

Brett Bartholomew 58:55

there you go. And, like, you have to put together a team as a leader we talked about leadership is not about one person, it’s a collective, it’s very much about the interactions and the dynamic nature between those doing the leading those doing the following, and the context, right, and the organization and the position. So when it comes to putting together a team and we’ve talked about how sometimes trades can be a false way to look at things because people can have, you know, you can follow a recipe to the nth degree, right, you can have all the right ingredients and it can still taste like crap. So beyond trades, what do you look for, with respect to putting together a team because you’re gonna have to do that as you take this role?

Quentin Pullen 59:36

The first thing I’m asking people is as a person going into service of your community, of your state, your country, are you a good person? You know,

Brett Bartholomew 59:48

but how do you define good? How do you define a good person

Quentin Pullen 59:50

also say that’s a huge charge for people man because a good person is what is your intent? You know, what is the impact that you want to have? Are you into this for yourself? Are you into this to actually help? And be of service the way that you said, you know, good people don’t go out and act in a selfish way that’s going to be destructive.

Brett Bartholomew 1:00:12

But what about people that say, you know, you’ve mentioned intent? What’s your intent? What about the whole Well, you know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions is intent enough?

Quentin Pullen 1:00:23

Yeah, but if your intentions are good, you know, that’ll I think that kind of, it’s like cream rising to the top, you know, if you have bad intentions, like frickin oil, that’s just going to sink, you know, and it’s going to muck you up, and all kinds of other things.

Brett Bartholomew 1:00:37

I just think time tells, you know, like,

Quentin Pullen 1:00:40

sometimes, you know, your 20s, like, we said a little bit earlier about people trying to endorse each other, and people picking teams now, what I’m starting to notice is that red and blue, those people are picking only those same teams, my campaign is made up of everything, every political leaning that there is I chose that team, so that I would absolutely hold myself accountable to different viewpoints. You know, I wanted to make sure that I was listening, and having people have different leanings. different beliefs, I have Christians I have, you know, people that are agnostic, I have people that are, you know, I have a guy that’s most, I have a spectrum of that represents our community, that’s going to help me and so the team that I put together is a diverse team, that has a voice that can say, Let’s collectively, you know, see if we can work together to accomplish these things. And so I appreciate differences of opinion, differences of leadership styles, differences of you know, influence, and all those things being the elements that create a good healthy team. If everybody thinks like you, on your team, it’s gonna be hard to have a successful team because, hey, everybody’s going to try and go in the same direction. But it’s like football, you know, imagine a running back, you know, running backs are shifty, right? running back and see that a hole is closing and change his mind and go the other direction?

Brett Bartholomew 1:02:17

Because that’s dependent on the constraint and the context, right, like you said, he sees the whole closing. And that’s what I think we don’t look at, do we have leaders that know when the hole is closing in when one opens? And that’s not about being an opportunity? Well, you know, what, screw it, it is about being an opportunist. But again, this is where it goes into people want to make this argument about so many things, that it’s not like, does somebody get it? And do they get people right? If you get it, if you understand what it means to and everybody’s definition of a good leader, especially across the different cultures, and what have you is going to be different. There’s research on that. But like, Does somebody have the competence to perform a certain task? And do they understand the people involved, right, and that their stuff is going to impact and I think, coaches the whole argument of why I believe people like you need to be on the show. And the whole argument of why I’m trying to bring more of the performance, strength and conditioning world out of its hole, and into the greater leadership Limelight is this is a group of people that have watched every other profession emerge and crossover, yet it kind of sits there and just, well, I’m gonna stay in my lane. No, you’re Marfil was made for this your deal with so many different people in really, moments that you know, where they’re tired, they’re out of shape, vulnerable moments, that’s what I was looking for, like, who better to emerge as leaders, just get your shit together a little bit, you know?

Quentin Pullen 1:03:38

And think about this. Corporations seek out coaches to help their teams become more proficient, more productive, you know, and better. They don’t seek out politicians to do that. You know, so when a coach goes into a space, we’re going to improve that space, you know, we’re going to help you be more productive at what you do. We’re going to know someone says, oh, you know, it’d be fine if we needed. We absolutely need a cheerleader in our town. We need a cheerleader in our political climate right now that says, Look, things are not as bad as people are telling you. They are, you know, I mean, if you were reading the news right now, you think the whole of California is burning down?

Yeah, I believe Yeah, it looks like it is

right now. And there’s a little orange out there right now and

Brett Bartholomew 1:04:22

a little a little,

Quentin Pullen 1:04:26

close to the beach, man. So we got some filtration going with that water. But I can go outside and my neighborhoods not on fire, you know, so to be able to go, Okay, this amount of California is on fire, but that happens almost every single year in those same areas. Yeah, we get that, you know, so. But if you would have let my point is this. Everybody has their own mind. You know, if you allow for other people to influence your thoughts away from what you’re thinking, you know, so if you have these positive Thoughts are or have influenced what you can do. But you allow someone to tell you, you’re just a coach, you can’t, you know,

Brett Bartholomew 1:05:07

self limiting thoughts,

Quentin Pullen 1:05:08

that self limiting thoughts. So I tell people, yeah, I’m a coach, but I’m also I have a degree in electronics engineering, I’m also a Marine, I’ve also done these other things, I also do charity work, there are so many layers to this onion over here, you know, and so, if you’re a coach, you have layers, unless you don’t, okay, if you don’t have layers as a coach, and you’re not influencing that positive change, who stay where you are, you know, that’s all well and good. But our communities, our state, our country needs, leaders, like us coaches that are gonna get out there and tell the world, the world is a beautiful place. And especially when we work hard at making it more beautiful, you know, so it’s about us, you know, we cannot allow a fringe element, whether they be on the left or right to tell us what kind of life we’re living right now, you know, be your own judge what kind of life you’re living right now. You know, if your neighborhood is burning? Okay, cool. You know, yeah, that’s your neighborhood, but it’s not everybody’s neighborhood, you know? So it’s being honest. Be an honest representation of what your life is actually about, you know, and if you’re a leader, get out there and lead, quit stepping behind the scenes and telling people that this is not me, it is you, you know, all you need to do is, do what you tell your clients have the confidence to stand tall man. And to I absolutely love the fact that a lot of the pro athletes are starting to now be a voice, because they been a voice. You know, if a pro athlete tells you to drink a sprite, you’re drinking a frickin Sprite, you know. And so now,

Brett Bartholomew 1:06:51

which isn’t always a good thing, let’s throw that in there.

Quentin Pullen 1:06:54

But they have that influence.

Brett Bartholomew 1:06:56

All influence are created equal.

Quentin Pullen 1:06:58

Yeah, exactly. Right. So now that athletes are getting out there saying, Look, you have the right to vote. And we’re going to say that you should vote. British registration is going up, you know, people are looking forward to this kind of thing now. So you have people that LeBron James’s and people like that in the world that Michael Jordan wasn’t that guy. And that wasn’t the time. But now fast forward 30 years, we have people that are saying, Look, we can no longer be a silent voice, we absolutely need to raise our voices, and make sure that we’re heard, especially the good voices, you know, the good people have to do the good things in our world, or else our world will go to the bad people and to the bad ways.

Brett Bartholomew 1:07:39

Yeah, I think it goes back to the boondock. Saints, quote, have you ever? Have you ever read that? Or watch that Boondock Saints?

Quentin Pullen 1:07:50

I haven’t.

Brett Bartholomew 1:07:50

So there’s this quote, and I’ll probably mess it up. But you know, this one guy says, you know, essentially, we something about and I’m trying to remember to say this is too critical.I did not want to butcher this so that they talked about, you know, we must all fear evil men, and it’s the context of the movie, right? And he says, but there’s another evil we have to fear most. And that’s the indifference of good men. Now everybody’s going to have different ideologies of what is good. But I think what we know is not good. If there’s one word that most of us can agree on. It’s indifference. If you are indifferent about everything, no matter what, right? We can argue, again, the research makes this clear. Ambition, not always good. Sometimes really good. Charisma is not always used for good. Not nothing is ever used just for good. Patients can be great. In some cultures in scenarios, patients is not always good in other situations where rapid decisions are needed. And they’re needed right now and what have you when you look at Eastern Western societies, there’s a difference in trade perceptions of good leaders, but indifference it is a probably a universal, the closest thing or one of the closest things to universal not being good. Don’t be indifferent.

Quentin Pullen 1:09:05

Don’t be indifferent. No. And we get that in coaching. You know, how many people do use, oh, man, you know, they’re in bad health, but they’re like, oh, man, I understand how you can do those workouts like that, you know, I do those things, because I understand that if I’m not acting, if I’m sitting here going, I wish I was in better health. But I refuse to do anything about that, you know, you’re indifferent to your own self. You know, that’s kind of self defeating. You know, so, I have this thing, man where I don’t people who are indecisive. It’s hard for me. And, you know, you in our earlier talks, we were talking about dark sides and bad habits or bad traits. If I had to pin down one thing about me, that would be a dark side or negative it would be that a lot of times if a person is is unwilling to Look at, you know, I pivot I go, I’m gonna do it, you know, if we I used to have this thing with my group of friends, I was always the guy that was booking the vacations. You know, I was the leadership leader in my group of friends where if we’re gonna go on a snowboarding trip, Q was going to be the guy that did that, you know, and there were people in our group that used to go, why is he always doing it? I’m always doing it because you’re not doing it. You haven’t taken the initiative to go out there and do that. And so what I’m seeing in politics right now, we have four candidates running for mayor and Costa Mesa, we should have 20, you know, because there should be enough people in Costa Mesa that say, Hey, I want to do that, you know, I have that leadership. And we have business owners, you know, leaders in our community that just haven’t stepped up and said, I’m gonna do this thing. You know, I’m looking forward to the point of 2021 22, where Mayor Brett Bartholomew, you know, or a senior member, but you are on a such a path to leadership in in a bigger way that you don’t even see it coming, but it’s coming

Brett Bartholomew 1:11:07

you we just want to own communication, we think that is we think other than water, and oxygen communication is the most scalable, valuable quality there is without it, there’s no trust. Without it, there’s no leadership. Without it, there’s no identity of who you are and what you’re about. You know, I think the thing that always amazes me is the people that think they’re already good at it, and I study it relentlessly, I obsess about it. And I’m not. And that’s the fun because even I’m not great at it, we always have to adapt it on the fly and be on the fly with this kind of stuff. But speaking of Q, as we wrap up, and we want people to take action, tell them about qthepeople.com. Tell them how they can support your message, your mission, how they can get in touch with you, we are definitely going to end up doing a round two at some point either me coming on your podcast or what have you. But But let’s lock and load and get people to take action now if they want to support you.

Quentin Pullen 1:11:57

So the website is qthepeople.com. And, you know

Brett Bartholomew 1:12:00

a letter q by the way, tell them that letter,

Quentin Pullen 1:12:01

you got the letter q the people, right, and the reason that I chose Q the people because when you hear the word q to the people means get the people involved. I’m sending out a Q right now to the people of Costa Mesa that says, hey, I need you, you know, I am here offering myself to be in a position where you can criticize the hell out of me, you can tell me I’m doing a horrible job. But what I’m gonna say to you is, hey, I asked you for your health I Q neet to get involved. I said, Hey, I need your help. I want to do that, too. And the people to get involved did the same thing that is in our Instagram, is q_4_thepeople on Instagram.

Brett Bartholomew 1:12:46

That’s alright, as it’s qthepeople.com They’ll get it all man and

Quentin Pullen 1:12:50

absalutely can get everything but what I’m asking people on my website, political jobs, I’m asking people to sign up for my newsletters and stuff like that. But put down if you have a an issue in the city that you want to see, get better put down that issue, but also, on the same time put down a solution that you think can work, because it’s not good enough to just come with your complaints come with your solutions to you know, and so that’s what our campaign is about. we’re going to undertake this whole community. I have a vision of having we have 115,000 people. We probably have about half of those are voters. I want to have a town hall meeting with 55,000 people.

Brett Bartholomew 1:13:33

Yeah, it’s not going to be built overnight man. And that’s where I think, you know, the final piece here I think that a quality that you have is you’re able to endure. And I think you know it reminds me of the Batman Begins showed you where he asked Alfred What would you have to do and Alfred goes endure right and that’s what you have to do. You have to be able to endure and adapt. Ooh, that’s a post it note, that’s post it note gotta write that down. Well, . I appreciate you coming on a Saturday you know when this releases it may people might not be listening it to on a Saturday but you taking time out of your weekend away from you know the other things that you have to do speaks you know, volumes about what you’re trying to do in your community. I owe more people step up. I hope people see that coaching is leading and leading his coaching. But you can’t be indifferent. I just want to thank you from all of us at The Art of coaching podcast brother.

Quentin Pullen 1:14:21

Hey, thank you for having me on man. It’s great. forethought to build a great friendship with you man and and influence in the world in a positive way.

Brett Bartholomew 1:14:32

Always guys, and thank you as always make sure you download Ali Kirschner does such a great job with our podcast reflections. They’re totally free there for you. You just go to artofcoaching.com/podcastreflections. And we have a great team that always puts a ton of time into this. So if you haven’t, please leave a review for the show. Please support what we’re trying to do. We bring this all to you for free. And we need your support just like you need your support. Until next time. I’m Brett Bartholomew with the art of coaching podcast signing off

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