“What hills are you willing to die on?”
This probably isn’t the first time you’ve heard that question, but it’s one worth revisiting time and time again. Why? Because it’s a key factor in deciding when and how to communicate in sticky situations.
In today’s episode, our guest Missy Mitchell-McBeth shares what she has learned first hand about being authentic – and sometimes even “painfully honest” – throughout her 20 year career, and provides valuable insight about how and when to adapt your communication approach.
Missy is a strength and conditioning coach with over 20 years of experience at
both the high school and collegiate levels. She is the owner of SaFe Iron, LLC a consulting company that teaches simplified strength and conditioning principles to sport coaches. She also serves as the Director of Sports Performance for Fieldhouse Volleyball Club in the DFW
Metro Area, and is the Texas Assistant Sales and Business Development Director at
Power Lift, USA.
In addition, Mitchell-McBeth serves on the board of the National High School Strength Coaches Association, holding a MSEd in Exercise Physiology along with CSCS, SCCC, USAW, and FRCms certifications.
In today’s episode, you’ll hear Missy’s thoughts on:
- The values that guide her decisions and determine which hills she’s willing to die on
- Navigating difficult personalities in the workplace, despite generational differences
- Tips for deciding what “battles” to fight & advice for the young professional
- The keys to influencing someone like her – a very direct and “no B.S.” type of personality
How to Connect with Missy:
Website: Safeirontraining.com
Twitter & Instagram: @missyMmcbeth
Referenced Resources:
Quiz: What Drives You?
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Whether your goals are personal or professional in nature, there are no skills more transferable than people skills. Your level of social agility – your ability to listen well and speak appropriately, manage sensitive or sticky situations, and influence others – will not only set you apart from your peers, but also provide a higher level of satisfaction in your life and relationships. At AoC, our goal is to provide you with the tools, strategies and practice you need to make progress in these areas. Whether it’s through 1-to-1 mentoring, online courses, or live workshops, we’ve got you covered!
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TRANSCRIPTION
Brett Bartholomew 0:12
Hey, Brett here. You know there is nothing more transferable to every profession situation, walk in the life, whatever, then skills pertaining to people communication and power dynamics. I mean, that’s just the reality. Being more socially Agile is only going to get more important in the future. AI and anything else is not going to make people irrelevant. What it is going to do is highlight the differentiation between those who have really locked in their people skills, their social agility, your ability to listen well relate, well communicate, persuade all those things, and those who are really only relying on technical skills related to their trade.
Research makes it clear those who are able to be more effective communicators across various contexts, not only earn more, but have higher life and relationship satisfaction. And we’d love to be able to provide a way for you to check your blind spots which we all have, by the way, myself included, or just be a part of your overall professional or continuing development. So please go to artofcoaching.com Check out our one to one mentoring, our live workshops, online courses, group, mentoring, digital community, whatever. We have something for every single budget, we have something for every single walk of life. We have served folks from over 30 professions and we would love the opportunity to serve you let us earn your trust. Let us help you get the results you deserve. Go to art of coaching.com Now
Welcome to the Art of coaching Podcast. I’m Brett Bartholomew and at a young age poor communication nearly cost me my life. Now, I help others navigate the gray area of social interaction, power dynamics and communication so they can become more adaptable leaders regardless of their profession, age or situation. This podcast is for everybody who is fascinated with solving people problems. So if you’re in the no nonsense type who appreciates frank conversations, advice you can put to use immediately and learning how others navigate the messy realities of leadership you’re in the right place. I’m glad that you’re joining us. Let’s dive in.
If you’re somebody that has ever struggled with feeling like you can’t speak your mind the way that you want to or sometimes you wish you had permission to just say some of the thoughts that are in your head and you struggle because you want to be authentic, but you feel pressured to conform sometimes because you don’t know if it’s gonna get you in trouble. You’re really going to appreciate this episode. Not only do we touch on how to just be authentically unapologetically you while still walking, maintaining professionalism. But we also talked about how to extrapolate that into how you interact with other people and how you have to alter those volumes, and you have to adjust in accordance with the context.
And I could think of no better guest today to speak about this than Missy Mitchell McBeth. Missy is a strength and conditioning coach with over 19 years of experience at both the high school and collegiate levels. Think about what I said right there. That’s the point. It’s a wide demographic generational differences as well. She is the owner of save iron LLC, a consulting company that teaches simplified strength and conditioning principles to sport coaches, so they can prepare athletes for the demands of sport. She also serves as the Director of Sports Performance for Fieldhouse volleyball club in the DFW metro area.
And aside from all these accolades, the point is, is that she’s got to communicate daily with a wide range of stakeholders, much like many of you do, whether you own a business, whether you’re a lawyer, whether you’re just somebody that struggles with getting certain things across the different family members, that’s the nature of leadership. Some element of social conflict, some element of dealing with some things internally and externally. So we explore that. Don’t worry, as with all of our guests, no matter what their background is, we ask them wide ranging topics about how to human better. So as always, we ask you to read between the lines, take notes, and most importantly, reflect. So without further ado, here is my conversation with Missy Mitchell McBeth.
Everyone, thanks for sitting down with me for another episode. I am here with Missy Mitchell-McBeth. Missy, nice to see you again.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 4:46
Yeah, it’s great to see you as well.
Brett Bartholomew 4:48
Listen, I promised you at the onset of this. We’d start the show in a way that just cuts right to it because I understand like, there’s sometimes conversations can start from a place of ambiguity and your trying to fill things out. But the strength of having you on a guest, and one of the reasons I wanted to have you as a guest is, you are somebody that I always observe, cutting right to the chase being unapologetic, yet balancing professionalism with that as well. And the relevance of this, especially for those listening right now, just to frame it is, we live in a world where I think more than ever, it’s easy to feel like we’re gonna get in trouble for being us.
Or we’re not always going to be accepted or respected if we state our views, or we just state them in a certain way. And it’s led to this dichotomy of the world either being filled with a lot of polarized bullshit, or people trying to live up to a facade. And I’ve always just thought that you’re a really good example of somebody that’s done neither. And I wonder if you’ve ever thought of yourself that way to just start with a broad invitation to kind of just talk about this, if that’s something that you ever have realized, that is a strength of yours. And then of course, over the course of this, we’ll get into how you develop that voice. But is this something that you ever really recognize in yourself prior to me reaching out and kind of talking about it with you?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 6:11
I think so. I think it’s really just exactly what you said, I promised you that I would cut to the chase, like get rid of the bullshit and go. That’s kind of just my MO, one of my values is efficiency, I don’t need all that extra stuff. And so that’s really just led me to find ways to communicate as effectively with people. I will say, people fearing getting in trouble. Absolutely, it has caused me trouble in my lifetime. And I’m sure we’ll get into that. So it’s not always smooth sailing, being honest. But at the end of the day, I appreciate that and the communication that I receive from others, and so I tried to return the favor whether they wanted it or not.
Brett Bartholomew 6:48
And when you think about it, I wonder like, what is your internal process of, I mean, you’re a coach, you work with a wide demographic? Are you a mother?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 6:59
I am not. I have four legged babies at that count.
Brett Bartholomew 7:02
Yeah, yeah, absolutely gets all communication. And you you have a spouse or a partner, yes?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 7:07
Absolutely.
Brett Bartholomew 7:08
Right. And so you think about this. And a lot of times people think, alright, I’m in situations, and I don’t always know how to interact in the moment. Right, I have things that I want to say I have things that I feel like saying, what is kind of your internal process for like, whether you’re having a discussion with your husband, or whether you’re interacting with kids? What are just some of the core values, that kind of how you anchor? You alluded to one right efficiency. But what are some other things that you really think Hallmark, the way that you interact and communicate with people?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 7:37
I think transparency is a big one. For me. Even if I don’t like what someone says, I really want to know where they stand, because I can respect that. And that also allows me to kind of navigate that interaction better with them and better address their needs. Because ultimately, a conversation has to be a give and take, right. And if I don’t know what you need, what you want, what you’re about, it’s really, really difficult for me to have that conversation and have that exchange and us to get what we need out of each other. So transparency is a huge one for me.
If we get down the rabbit hole of core values, quality is a big one for me. And that’s something where I think, again, transparency feeds into that have, I want things done a certain way, and you can’t have things done a certain way, if you do not communicate those things clearly and concisely to other people. So kind of those three things together, really, I think, have shaped this communication style. Whether it’s, good, bad or indifferent. Not everyone shares those values. So that’s where you kind of have to navigate how to soften some of the open and honest communication with some people. But for me, the more I can communicate just transparently and very, high quality interaction is what I’m looking for.
Brett Bartholomew 8:55
Yeah, no, that makes sense. And and I just remember, it was a big aha moment for me at a time when I was trying to discern if I was doing a good enough job as a coach, right, trying to figure out am I a good coach? Am I a good leader, whether that’s in my family life, or whatever. And I remember just, I’ll never forget the day that I realized I read something that smacked me in the face. And it was like, we need to be very clear about the definition of leadership. Like it’s a social process, right? So like, that is defined about like, as how we communicate.
And I’m curious, was there a time in your life or your professional career that you could kind of point to where you also came to this realization of okay, I thought my job for a long time was about blank. And then I really realized, yeah, it is about how I interact with others or, just some kind of event or an epiphany, if you will, maybe you already knew that, of where you started really paying more attention to that. How you came across how you perceive yourself, how you tailor your message.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 9:53
Yeah, so I started off as a high school volleyball coach, and then I transitioned to become A Power Five strength coach. And so that is going to a business model of athletics. It’s super serious athletes are on scholarship, you have ones wanting to go play overseas after. So all the things. Well, then I make another career transition to be a full time High School strength coach. So little different mindset there, I call it advanced placement PE kids, they’re kind of athletic, they’re kind of serious more than the general population, but not really. So like, I took these methods that I was using at the collegiate level, which is basically, you’re doing this wrong, and here’s how we’re going to fix it.
And I tried to apply it to a population that was not that serious. And it’s like, I look around, and they’re just kind of looking at me, like, what’s wrong with you? And I’m like, Well, what’s wrong with you? Obviously, I’m right, I came from the collegiate level, I know all the things like, why aren’t you doing them? So I really had to look at that. And, I think for the first probably year or two, I was like, well it’s the kids. The kids with the problem. And like, I will just hammer that square peg into a round hole, and I will beat them into submission, and like, they’re just gonna have to respect it, and they’re just gonna have to learn. And then it’s like, it wasn’t happening.
Like for some, the compliant humans in the population, whatever they get on board immediately. But for others, it’s like, I could see the lights going out, and you’re just, they’re not responding to it. So it’s like, I can either continue to believe that it’s a them problem, or I can look internally and say, well, maybe I need to change my mindset towards them change how I treat them, maybe not be so direct, maybe not be so honest. You’ve got to establish that relationship first, because that was a huge piece of the difference is collegiate level.
You know, the drill, you’re with those kids 360 out of 365 days a year, that is a completely different relationship than a 14 year old athlete who you see one time a week, because that’s how the structure is of the training session. So it’s like I can’t have the same depth of relationship, I can’t have the same open and honest conversation with that athlete, I’ve got to be a little bit more compassionate in my interactions, and a little bit more motivating and dragging things out of people, all the things that I naturally try to get away from doing with people are all of the things that I had to do to be successful at that level. And now to even take that a level further, I’m working with a volleyball club down the road for me called Field House. And I train kids as young as seven years old. And so I can’t have a– that rep was terrible, because it’s literally their first rep, and that’s going to shape their mindset towards training for the rest of their lives.
Brett Bartholomew 12:39
Yeah no, and there’s a lot of really powerful through lines in there. And it’s one of the reasons I love talking about this stuff so much is, you know, you talk about how you even just code switch, and communication switch, like switch your communication style within these contexts. And that just has so many more broader implications in our lives, right? Even just being mindful of how do I do that? When
I’m at home? How do I do that when I’m talking to this population? And it’s, it’s this moment of, I think we spent a lot of times always talking about what seemed to be hard skills, but we never talked about, hey, how do we manage the interactions within that, that really amplify that? And also, just for you to even be able to admit, like, yeah, maybe it’s me, I think that I don’t think I know, there are people that go through their entire life, not willing to just basically say, hey, it might be me.
You know, it might be me and like, it’s okay to erode your self concept supposed to evolve, right? I think that’s the first sign of a true professional is, can they say am I the problem? You know, I wonder and help me orient this because I know the generational moniker is gets so nuanced. With that population, you primarily work with not the seven year olds, but let’s go to the high school. That’s Gen Y, right? Or is that Gen Z? Which one is it now?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 13:48
I think there’s Z, aren’t they?
Brett Bartholomew 13:49
Yeah, let’s say Gen Z. And so, you know, with that, what have you found beyond what you already said, because there’s a big article the other day that just talked about how so much of Gen Z is so handicapped by anxiety and they don’t know how to deal with stress, and they don’t know how to deal with failure. And there’s a psychiatrist, waxing philosophically. But I wonder what are just your anecdotal observations of your experience of things that if you had to write a cheat sheet of like things I’ve learned when interacting, knowing that, of course, they’re not monoliths, but we’re just having fun here. What are some broad brush strokes and things that you’ve learned when interacting with folks have that kind of generational background?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 14:31
That’s kind of a hard one for me to answer because I have been coaching for 20 years and so I’ve seen the generations change but at the same time, like I will die on the hill, that kids are not different. They are not different than what I started 20 years ago. The environment that they are brought up in is tremendously different. I believe that they do not have coping skills because they are not forced to cope with failure from a young age. Everything is about bailing them out. So it’s like from the perspective of working with them.
I’m not going to compromise certain values, I’m not going to compromise safety, I’m not going to compromise, like we’re going to get in, and we’re going to work hard and do what we need to do. But the way that you have to approach that is build more fun into it. It’s not a just because I said, so kids don’t respond to that anymore. Because that’s not how they’re parented. Right? So I think we just have to find alternative ways of reaching that population. Because at the root of it, I don’t think they’re different. I think maybe just, like I said, this, the communication style that we have to use with them has to be altered slightly to reach them.
Brett Bartholomew 15:39
Yeah, no, I agree with you, I think a lot tends to be made of acting like people are so fundamentally different across these different generations, where you hit the nail on the head, the key difference is not necessarily anything like the literal DNA or makeup, it’s the environment that they’re raised in the values and experiences that they’re exposed to. So like we even when people say, well, Gen Z, it’s always technology, it’s always, well, yeah, they grew up with that we’re creatures of our environment.
Or, as you mentioned, yes, parents, and many parents admit to this, they don’t want their kids to feel stress, and they don’t want them to feel these mistakes. So they inevitably then handicap their ability to cope with stress. But that doesn’t mean they’re a different social animal. Like humans are predominantly like the same kind of social animal, we have similar fears and insecurities and wants and needs, but the environment that we’re in socially, psychologically, or just even just technologically influenced those pieces. I mean, is that what I’m hearing you kind of allude to?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 16:38
Absolutely. And I think that a lot of times, adults are way too hard on kids. And that’s nothing that’s changed. Now, it’s always been like, Oh, back in my day, or whatever, we’re superior to the generation that came after us and all that. But we don’t know. I don’t know what I personally would do. Having grown up with a screen in front of my face all the time, or having access to social media or having access to every bit of information out there, you don’t know how you would have behaved in that environment. So I think it’s ridiculous when adults are just like, oh, kids these days, and I’m like, you’d be the same.
Brett Bartholomew 17:10
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Missy Mitchell-McBeth 18:27
I don’t know what I personally would do having grown up with a screen in front of my face all the time, or having access to social media or having access to every bit of information out there. You don’t know how you would have behaved in that environment. So I think it’s ridiculous when adults are just like, oh, kids these days, and I’m like, you’d be the same, you would be the exact same. And for the record, kids these days are the ones in front of you, and the only ones available to you to work with. So you better figure it out.
Brett Bartholomew 18:53
YEah know, it definitely speaks to a lot of internal things that we have of even just saying, like, as you alluded to, you have to explain why. I remember talking to a coach once, it said they were really angry. They just feel like I feel like my authority is being questioned. I’m like, no, they’re brought up in the information age. A lot of them just they want to know, a deeper insight. And it’s funny because there can be popular books and tomes and things that that talk about, like, hey, people want to understand the underpinning idea of why is this a surprise?
So sometimes just being able to step back and say, Alright, is it the situation? That’s frustrating? Is it the cognitive dissonance of what I feel like it’s saying about me? Or is it sometimes just I think some people just don’t know, you know what to do. And I wonder if you’ve had many instances like that, where– and maybe you can give an example of course, feel free to to make up the name for privacy reasons. And like, what was an example of somebody that would be quote, unquote, looked at as difficult that they made your work a little harder for it and what was the result? Like what was just one strategy you could share for somebody that maybe was or perceived as difficult where you’re like, Yeah, this was a tough nut to crack. I figured out a way to do it.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 20:03
Yeah. So I’m going to talk about this specific situation a little bit differently than I have when I’ve spoken about previously. But I had an athlete that I just didn’t like. And I think that coaches, they just lie about that stuff. They’re like, No, no, no, I love all my athletes. I’m like, I may love all my athletes, but there are some that I can’t stand and when they graduate, I’m never going to talk to him again. And they’re never going to talk to me again. Because that’s just how life works. And that’s okay. But that doesn’t mean that you can accept anything less out of them or anything less out of yourself as a coach, so you’ve got to figure it out.
So just had this kid that non compliant, non committed all the words, right? Really wasn’t overtly awful, wasn’t disrespectful. Nothing. Just everything was not necessarily discussion, but a body language discussion. Hey, so and so do such and such and you get like that, like Slumped Shoulders, head turn from the back, you’re getting an eyebrow, all the things. And so it’s like, what do I reciprocate with? The exact same body language? Well, what do I think the next exchange is going to look like, right?
And so oddly enough, one day, she comes in, and she’s doing something silly, and the kids are just like, oh, my gosh, you can tell the rest of the group just loves her. She’s silly, she’s fun. She’s all this stuff. And I look at that. And I’m like, Well, I see something in her, but I don’t. Well, about this time, I get two little rescue puppies. And one of them my husband is the primary handler of and I don’t like training her, I don’t like working with her, everything’s a discussion. Everything is that I don’t want to do it.
Little bit of bad body language. And all of a sudden, I realized, like, I would never yell at this puppy, I would never hit this puppy. I would never make this puppy, do punishment exercises, whatever. But verbally, that’s basically what I’m doing to this kid. And why am I expecting that kid to respond to my shitty body language and my bad coaching cues. And so literally what I did to change it is I just changed it. I just went in one day, and I just changed how I approached her, I talked to her before the workout, how was your day, what’s going on at school, whatever. And then everything that she– I made it a habit of looking for every single thing that she did right that day.
And I pointed it out, and I did it over and over and over again. And so that allowed me to go in now that I have more a better relationship established. And now I can go in and make changes. And she’s willing to do things for me in the weight room, because I’ve changed how I approached her. So I think that’s so important that and it’s not possible, you’ve got a room full of 60 kids, I can’t have 60 individual conversations, 60 individualized programs, 60 individualized approaches, but when you do have those difficult people, you are going to have to bridge that communication gap, if you want to get anything out of them.
Brett Bartholomew 22:54
Yeah, no question. I mean, it’s a really insightful way to look at it. And it just a reminder that, the ultimate sophistication and simplicity when you have these mental models of saying like, yeah, I wouldn’t do this to I’m training this dog, why would I do and some people might laugh at that and think, Well, kids, not a dog. It’s all behavior, right? It’s all reinforcement. It’s all looking at these things. And it’s intriguing, too, because you mentioned the point of Well, I have 60 kids and people can extrapolate that and say, All right, I have 120 staff.
I remember that was one of the earliest criticisms of my first book conscious coaching. Somebody said, well, I have 120 athletes, I can’t get to know what drive– and I go, Well, you sure talk to them every day about like, you check their weight, or how they slept, or how they’re feeling and their soreness. It happens over time with micro interactions, right? What I’m hearing you even allude to is like, the expectation isn’t that you have these in depth one to ones, it’s that you’ve got to pick certain battles, prioritize certain things. And that’s just dividing and conquering. When we look at social dynamics, there are certain peoples whose attitudes, and even their behaviors influence the group more than others. Of course, you triage those first. But over time, you can build those little interactions into everything you do. I mean, that’s how you manage a staff. That’s how you lead a team. That’s how you grow, right?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 24:09
Absolutely. And it’s something where, that situation with her, has made me evaluate and take a different approach with other people. Like right now I’m in a situation where with the club, I have three other coaches working with me that have limited amounts of experience. Well, one, they’re doing a great job, because I’m, making the expectations clear and all that kind of stuff. But I had the conversation with one the other night.
If you mess up, don’t even worry about it. Like you’re not gonna be in trouble with me, because that’s my problem that you made the mistake. I haven’t trained you well enough. But even within that, like, Okay, how do I address that? How do I give good feedback? That’s constructive, because again, my nature is to be open honest, this was wrong. This is how we fix it. But is that person going to be receptive to that style of communication, or do I need to buffer that out with hey, it was a great job setting up this drill and these coaching cues. But here’s where we need to make improvements for future.
Brett Bartholomew 25:07
Yeah. And the answer to is right, you’re not always going to know. Having had this conversation recently, somebody’s just like, well, I don’t know what to do all the time. I’m aware that there’s different conversational styles and things that I need to use. And I said, Well, this is why you document it, right? You make whether it’s a mental note, a note in your phone, legitimate, like documentation and a Google, like, you start to get this profile of people that you lead, and you figure it out. I wonder if doing this, especially when you interact, whether is with the athlete that you didn’t like, and I appreciate your transparency, there are others.
Is there an instance where interacting with them, much like the dog made you kind of realize, oh, okay, I need to– did you learn something valuable about yourself? Have you ever realized, like, Oh, I’m kind of a pain in the ass the same way, sometimes, or I’ve done this. Has there ever been anything kind of funny, or quirky or enlightening that you’ve gleaned from trying to get across to somebody else that like, Oh, I do this, this is interesting.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 26:03
I think that’s really just like my overarching kind of line of thinking with the whole transparent communication is that you have to then open yourself up to being receptive to that. So it’s like when I do receive, or I have an athlete that receives feedback poorly, or a co worker that receives it poorly. And then I’m like, well, they’re just soft or whatever. And then I get a piece of feedback. And I’m just like, internally grumbling, or I immediately want to like, clap back with Well, this is why I did it, and this is why I’m validated for that, whatever.
And then I’m like, wait, I’m the exact same is that athlete that I’m like, be coachable, receive feedback. And it’s like, you see those things in yourself through coaching other people, just like you said. So I think that’s the big one is just like, I’m like, yeah, be transparent with me. And then someone is, and I’m like, my feelings are hurt, like, don’t say it so directly next time, you know so.
Brett Bartholomew 26:55
It’ salways a tough thing, where, especially if you get somebody that’s good at rationalizing, because we’ll start to protect those things. I mean, one of the episodes we did with Robert Greene in the past was how we deceive ourselves. And I just remember interaction on social media, when somebody would ask me that and say, Well when are you behaving this way? And they’re like, Well, I don’t and I’m like, so you never resist change? You never fear anything?
Well, that’s not the same. It’s like, how far are you willing to go to be right, right now? You know, and what do you learn from that? Now, with that, we’ve talked about some feedback. And we’ve talked about being able to understand things in yourself that you see, and others and vice versa. And just the nature of authenticity, right and adapting what even that means in that context. But authenticity in any way seems to have a way of inviting criticism, eventually. Right?
So we talked about how you’ve handled feedback at some points, but like, how do you handle criticism, or backlash when you’ve expressed your genuine thoughts and feelings? And this no longer has to be like, dealing with the coaching context, this can be when putting your views out there to the world in general? Or feel free to take it where you’d like how do you deal with that kind of criticism or backlash?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 28:08
I think the biggest piece is the understanding that I’m not going to make everybody happy all the time. And being okay with that. And that’s the, textbook right answer a platitude that people are going to give you like, Oh, you just have to be okay with that. But that doesn’t make it any less comfortable when you started a war because of something you said. So in order to really deal with that, I think that you need to have a very firm handle on what are my core values.
And again, as I mentioned earlier, that’s not something that we write down and slap up on the wall, your core values are things that cause you to feel and more importantly, they are the things that you act upon. So ultimately, like what Hills Am I willing to die on? That way when I piss someone off from a neighboring hill that they’re willing to die on? I’m okay with it. Because I’m really, really firm and my principles and what I believe in and why it was that I said that I said, is really the ultimate way that I handle criticism on the honesty piece.
Brett Bartholomew 29:09
Yeah, no, I think that’s a huge part. Something else that I, and I’d love to hear what you think about this, that I was reflecting on once is, for me, it makes criticism– criticism is easier to accept when it comes from a place where that person is genuinely trying to understand they’re genuinely seeming like to want to have a dialogue, as opposed to just trying to be right or draw attention to themselves and siphon that right. And, what what I think is it’s hard for me, this is an issue I have, I’m getting better at managing it.
If somebody would respond a certain way. And it was clear that they didn’t mean well, like I wasn’t afraid to using your terminology like clap back. Because I’m like, you maybe thought about this for a moment. I’ve thought about this for two years. Like if you want to go that direction we will. Now I’ve just had to think okay, does this person seem like they want to have a dialogue and they’re wanting to Understand, or does this person just want to kind of battle about it? Do you ever think of things that way? Does that ever influence your tendency to either respond or not respond? Or for most things, you just kind of let it go and say, Hey, these are my core values, whatever.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 30:16
Yeah, so I think Twitter, first of all, it’s not the real world, but it’s probably the medium in which I’m best known for expressing my open and honest opinions. And so you do tend to get a lot of those comments from the peanut gallery. If you say, I mean, you can, say the sky is blue, and you’re gonna get somebody with 12 followers that says, oh, it’s actually gray outside today, like, cool. That’s not what I meant. But, when I encounter people that are criticizing what it is, I have to say, I do kind of have a decision tree on, is this a discussion? Are they trying to be productive? Are they trying to learn or are they just trying to fight?
And ultimately, if they’re just trying to fight like, sometimes I call it violence Wednesdays, sometimes I like to go out and kill for sport. You know, I grew up with a dad, that was a hunter, Twitter’s my medium to hunt and kill. So sometimes I’ll engage in some of those peanut gallery comments with an unqualified person just for fun. But ultimately, like, if they are just completely belligerent, I’m either going to ignore it, or I’m just going to mute or block them. Because to me, that is a resource that I use for professional dialogue, or to put out content or to try to educate. And an argument just for the sake of argument isn’t really accomplishing any of those goals. So I just kind of say pass on that.
Brett Bartholomew 31:39
Yeah, yeah, we got a question from a listener that had said, I wonder if, has there ever been a time where she felt pressure to conform or silence her true thoughts? Meaning like, would it hurt me professionally? Could it hurt this job opportunity? And then how did you resist that pressure and stay true to your voice regardless? So kind of this idea of authenticity versus conformity right. Is there any thoughts around that one?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 32:06
I kind of feel pressure to not express my thoughts all the time. But no, a specific example that kind of shaped me into a state that I’m currently in, where if it’s something that I believe in, I’m going to say it whether it’s popular or not. I was in a workplace setting, where just like many we had annual performance evaluations. The difference on these was that we did them ourselves, because our boss was like, these were a waste of time, I’m not doing them. So there was a situation that had happened. And we as a staff believed that we were wronged, we should have been included in something and we were not.
I responded in my performance evaluation in a way that I felt was above reproach, that I was unhappy with just this decision. My co workers did not respond in that way. They did not mince words. So at nine o’clock in the morning, on a random Wednesday, we get a phone call in the communal office, and I get approached by a horde of my co workers on the treadmill. And they say we are to be in the athletic director’s office immediately. So I’m like, cool, we’re getting a raise, because we’re so valuable and they didn’t include us in this other thing.
So hot down, here we go. Here, we did not go. That meeting resulted with the AD being so angry, he was beat red, there was spit flying, there was fingers and faces, I got told, my position had been created specifically for me in the previous year, I got told that I was lucky to have a job. And the end result of the meeting was that, which I was, I mean, there was truth to that I was lucky to have job. But the end result of the meeting was we were told if we ever said anything ever again, about anything, we would be fired on the spot. So in that moment, you became a hostage.
You couldn’t speak up for yourself, you couldn’t say anything. And so I would observe things. Obviously, I’m a strength coach. And, the sport coaches had all the power. And we were being told to do things with athletes that were not just not beneficial, it was dangerous. And you couldn’t say anything because you’re afraid of being fired. And so that’s how I handled it. I didn’t say anything. And so I tried to, that’s kind of how I learned about behavioral shaping is I tried to artfully approach the coaches that I worked with and get it to be their idea, like, hey, we need to do this in training, or we need to not do that.
And so I was largely effective with that strategy. It took me a really, really long time where like some situations you can just walk in and be like, we need to do X, Y, and Z and a Sport Coach is like cool. This one is like we need to do X and then I was like, no, no, Coach, I think you think we need to do X and the coach is like, yeah, you’re right x is great. Cool. So we’re going to do exactly what you said to do Sport Coach, because you are the expert in my field, right? So anyway, that worked for a time until I came up against a staff of literally the dumbest human beings I’ve ever been in contact with. And that approach no longer worked.
And I told them, If we train in this way, we will have an athlete become injured, put it in writing, emails, athletic director or athletic trainers saying the same thing. face to face conversations, this is stupid, don’t need to do it, whatever. Well, we went ahead and did it and an athlete got hurt. And when that happened, of course, administration calls me on the phone says, Can you talk us through this and I think if I said 10 words in the sentence, 11 of them were an F word. So how I overcame my fear of repercussions of saying things and vocalizing my opinion is that in that moment, I did not feel that fear, because I was so enraged by the situation.
The final outcome of that was I left a month later, I took another position, went somewhere else, because my core value of athlete’s safety was clearly compromised. And after I sat back and thought about it for a while, I recognize that I was in a position previously that a lot of people find themselves in, they couldn’t say anything, you can’t advocate for yourself, you’re told that you’re lucky to have a job, you’re lucky to be making $38,000 a year. You’re a prisoner. So now that I’m out, why can I not advocate for that.
And so I think that when I say things that people find controversial, or when I say things that people find inflammatory in strength conditioning, what people need to understand is that it comes from a place of being deeply concerned with my profession, and with my core values and wanting to help and wanting maybe some sport coach or some athletic director out there, sees it and thinks, it creates that cognitive dissonance for them, and they think, maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about.
And maybe I should let my strength coach do their job. And maybe we should prioritize athlete safety over this, like foam, mental toughness training that we do. And so that’s really kind of where it comes from. That’s kind of where I, I guess, stepped up and like, took the platform of being a little bit more outspoken in the field as it came from a place of a very terrible experience, to be honest. And I was just kind of tired of it. And I was like, nobody else is speaking out about it and so I will,
Brett Bartholomew 37:36
Yeah, no. One, I appreciate you sharing that I know talking about those things, like no matter what anybody says is never easy against it, because it just brings back a lot of memories. And it’s not like they’re scarring or traumatic. They’re just vivid, right? And it gets adrenaline going. And there’s some key pieces there. One, it’s always important, you don’t know somebody until you know what they’ve been through and what they want. And I deeply sympathize with what you’re talking about in terms of how you can be perceived and how it’s anchored and what is really there. If I there was a period of my life where if I got called intense
For another time, I was just about to be like, Oh, my God, but then I realized, like, I eventually learned how to express like, hey, my intensity comes from a place of me giving a shit, caring, right. And I understand that it can come off like this and this to other people. But this is what it comes from. And it sounds like you too. You had a lived experience that was representative of a visceral reality, and something that has a tremendous impact, and can impact other people, and you feel a need to express it. And not everybody’s always going to, I think a key point, I’d love for you to add to this. If it comes down to distilling tips for people that are like, Should I do that?
Should I or should I act this way? It’s like, well, at some point you have to decide of you can conform, and there’s going to be times where you maybe need to do shades of that. But where do you ultimately want to be, who do you want to be around? What are the kinds of things that you want in your life? Because it’s the same thing when somebody would ask me are you scared that because you have a podcast, the things you say– could I go, the people that I want to be around are the people that are going to understand this. And I want to talk about it. That’s my tribe. So I think just first and foremost, that to being, yeah, know what you want, or at least what you don’t want and who you want to be around and ask yourself, have you stating your views authentically? gets you closer to that or further away from that? I mean, would you agree with that, in any sense? Feel free to disagree?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 39:30
No, absolutely. I think the big piece is when you’re being outspoken when you’re being painfully honest. The question that I asked myself, I used to not ask myself this question. I would just say it and then I wouldn’t get the effect that I want. And I was like, well, what’s the problem? Like I was honest, they say, honesty’s the best policy or whatever. But then it’s like, I looked and I’m like, what was my purpose in saying that? Was my purpose just to vent and like be heard and call someone out? What action did I want them to take as a result of my statement?
And so now if I cannot think of a, you’ll probably catch me not doing this. But I try to, if there’s not an actionable outcome of me being honest, then I’m probably just going to let it slide. Because I could just be like, I don’t like your shirt. Okay, well, what, what do I do about that? Like, what do I do with this information? So if there’s nothing for the listener, you know, for the audience to get out of the information that you’re sharing with them, you’re wasting your time. The second thing is, you really have to pick your battles, kind of in a similar vein. If you’re just brutally honest, all day, every day, people desensitized to that.
And they just don’t listen to it anymore, because they’ve tuned you out, because you’re just negative or whatever. So you need to pick and choose like, when do I want to use this strategy? When can I be most impactful? And then along with that, what you alluded to, what’s the risk reward on it? Like the reward is x, but what am I risking to do so? So for example, I said, I’ve got like my Hills all day on athletes safety and my mental health are my Hills professionally, that I will die on. If I’m outspoken on one of those two topics, and I get fired.
Or I get whatever strength and conditioning tail might look like, I don’t know what that would be, you know, I get blackballed as a professional because I’ve spoken out on those two topics, I lay my head down on my pillow, and I go right to sleep. Now, if I get fired over something stupid, that is not a principle or a core value, you know, whatever. That’s a completely different conversation. So I think it’s really, really important. When you’re looking at whether or not I should be authentic, or conform in this moment, what your purpose is, what the risk is, and what the final reward is going to be.
Brett Bartholomew 41:57
Yeah, no, that’s really well consolidated. And I think it also just goes into you talked about cognitive dissonance earlier, that’s a huge thing for people to reflect on as well, because there’s so many people get into a job or a situation, and then they say, well, this isn’t what I thought it was, or their values, or this place doesn’t line up, there does just need to be this very clear, understanding that most of the situations you go into, as a leader, as a coach, as a manager, use your term are gonna be those kinds of situations, right? They’re rife in conflict.
Very rarely do any of us ever get an opportunity where what we want is in line with exactly how things are. That’s just not going to happen. And so I think that it’s troubling to me, because that’s the hill that I would die on is it’s troubling to me when people don’t accept that misunderstanding and conflict to a degree is the baseline. And so you’re going to have to find that comfort level of having to speak up for yourself otherwise, like you said, you’re going to end up being a slave to that role now, especially if you’ve put yourself in a position where you need that, or your ego needs that.
And this was something I saw a lot working in sport early on, as people felt like, well, I need this logo, I need this position, I need to work with this type of athlete, which is mirrored exactly in the corporate world or anywhere else. And so that pressures them to conform. And it’s like, now I have this life, where I can’t be myself, I want permission to be myself. If I myself, I might screw up this job that I feel like I need, but it’s validating something that is in conflict with my goals, and then they just want to stop. And it’s just like, yeah, like, you’re gonna have to, at some point, just roll the dice, pick your battles, like you said. At the end of the day, or the year or three years, or whatever you decide is an acceptable timeframe. There’s more things, there’s more bodies that stack up of things that you didn’t believe in, and it’s causing you sleep at night, you’re gonna have to look for something else, or you’re gonna have to find some other way to make this situation tenable. Yes?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 44:01
Yeah, and I don’t think enough people kind of take that stance. And really, when you’re young, I think you have to conform more
Brett Bartholomew 44:09
Sure
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 44:10
As you gain and I would encourage any young listeners to listen to that, again. I am in a place of 20 years in my profession, and I have expertise to backup every inflammatory remark that I make. And I also built a lot of like authentic professional credibility before I started firing shots on Twitter or social media platforms. So when you’re younger, you do have to conform, you do have to be grateful for some of those lower level positions. That’s just a rite of passage,
Brett Bartholomew 44:41
That’s right
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 44:42
You cannot just be a loose cannon. But I think as you grow as you increase in your expertise, I think that you need to actively seek out opportunities that are better fits for you that are in better alignment with your core values. We spend, you know, eight To 12 Right now, I think I’m working 17 hour days, like, that’s a big portion of your life. So where possible, you need to try to line up with the values of the thing that it is that you spend 75% of your day doing.
Brett Bartholomew 45:14
Yeah, no, definitely an important point. Because you do see this. And I don’t know that it’s always an age thing. But it is a cultural thing. You do see a lot of this now where people that are just starting out and have an earned kind of a certain, right, almost won. It’s like they somebody can work in a company for three years. And they feel like they’ve earned retirement or somebody feels like we talked about this in the past is the difference between experience and exposure, because it’s not even tied to necessarily an age or a certain amount of years experience as much as an accrual of dense and diverse experiences.
And it goes back to like an intern that says, Well, I think you should do it this way. Well, okay, but like back that up, right, we want this psychological safety for you to be able to express this, but also don’t come at it from entitlement where if that idea just came from a blog, and you’re mad that we didn’t take your advice, because you haven’t vetted it, or you didn’t come with a plan. I mean, you see this a lot at our apprenticeship, somebody’s like, my boss won’t give me a raise. I’m like, Well, do you go into this stuff prepared? Do you go in knowing how much money you bring into the organization right now?
Or otherwise, however, that value is objectively determined? Have you made it easy or almost undeniable for them to say, yes. And oftentimes, the answer is no. People do go the other way they either and again, it goes back to the polarized people either don’t speak up, and they’re not their authentic selves, or they put no barriers and boundaries on that. Pick your shots. And then the question inevitably becomes in the YouTube comments, well, how do I know which shots to pick? And that’s a lesson in and of itself, you’re not going to be gifted with that certainty? Are you? Are you always going to know when’s the right time to speak up and when’s not? No but you have some idea of when the wrong time is. Maybe start there, maybe Is there anything you’d want to add to that?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 47:01
No, I think, again, that just kind of goes back to what I was saying about, like having the hills that you’re willing to die on, because it’s like, then if you speak up at the right time, but it was like the right Hill. Okay, like, that’s what I believe in, I’m good with the decision that I made. But at the same time, like, learn from that, like, how can I present that information better next time where it’s more favorably received? Because I think that’s the other thing with, this whole authenticity piece is it’s like, again, it’s not a free pass to just be an asshole, right?
Like, because there has to be an audience, they’re willing to receive what you’re saying. Otherwise, you’re just like old man yelling at Cloud kind of person, you’re not actually being impactful, like you want. So I think it’s really important that you, when you are honest, and you are authentic, reflect on the impact that’s having on the people around you. And do you need to, kind of chisel down some of those edges, or, which is the phrase that’s been used on me my entire life, which you said, I think you got triggered by intense, I get triggered by when people tell me to sand my edges down or whatever. But yeah, there’s some merit to that. So see how your authenticity is being received by others.
Brett Bartholomew 48:19
Yeah, there’s a lot I want to do, I’m going to come back to this point. But I just want to I want to drop it in here and see if I have permission to talk about because I’d love to even know how you’ve adapted that to when it even just comes to talking to your spouse, right? Because this stuff also plays into how we talk to our significant others and find that balance there. So are you cool, we’ll come back to that briefly later on.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 48:41
Sure
Brett Bartholomew 48:42
Cool. I think you touched on something in this is a little bit more theoretical. So again, just have fun with this. It ties into this concept of a client that does our mentoring said this the other day. In some ways, I feel like I’m almost asking for permission to be myself. And I had asked him, Well, what does that look like? What do you want permission to be? For me, I mean, a whole part of our brand, at art of coaching is like we’re flawed but fastidious, like we’re gonna be real people, we’re gonna give you real stuff, but like, we’re also not going to put in that facade. It didn’t even pours over to our branding,
I tell our team, like, it has to be sophisticated. grit you have to look at that piece that’s in somebody’s house. That looks cool, but it’s been through some shit. And that kind of informs our approach. And another way I kind of think of I remember one time just I always relate to this concept of the antihero. That’s somebody that’s flawed. They usually want to do like good things, but they’re going to operate in the gray. What is like, if you had permission to kind of just be this thing or something that symbolized the version of yourself that you wanted to be like, what is that? Like what is the version of yourself you just wish you had in an ideal world unadulterated permission to be at all times?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 50:00
This was really random and probably weird. But have you seen the movie Encanto?
Brett Bartholomew 50:04
Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, I have. Yep.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 50:06
Okay, so the character Bruno that has kind of always like, Oh my gosh, like, something’s gonna go wrong. Like, if we don’t act now something is gonna go wrong and everybody tunes him out. And then he’s just sitting behind the scenes like patching, like, silently patching the cracks in the wall, right? Yeah. And then at the end, we see that, like, what he said was gonna go wrong, if not acted upon, came to fruition.
And I had a co worker tell me, they’re like, Missy, you’re Bruno, like, you always see what the outcome is going to be like, if we don’t act, but people just sometimes don’t want to listen to it. And there’s some takeaways there, the big takeaway is like, why, why do they not? And that’s kind of where I’ve learned that, like, it’s not always time to speak up, like we need to pick our battles so that when you do you see the cracks in the house going on, people are more receptive to listening to that. So my character would be a socially accepted Bruno,
Brett Bartholomew 51:03
That’s a really good one. And I think it’s nice, because it can really be that simple. And another thing that I know people struggle with that, and I certainly did too is, like you alluded to, you have to be okay, with not everybody’s going to listen to it. I mean, I’ve made no small amount of claims about like, back in my previous life, I would say, Hey, you’re probably gonna have to learn more entrepreneurial skills. There’s a lot of strength coaches that are mad, they’re not making money and look at the broader industry. In every field, there are people that have side hustles are doing something else.
And it’s not like that they’re dishonouring their job. I mean, of course, there’s always gonna be some people that do that. But they find things to do in their spare time to do, but nobody’s coming to save you, nobody’s creating a union. And I beat that horse for a while. And I just realized, oh, there’s only a certain subset that actually wants to hear this, there’s another subset that genuinely is just okay complaining, but they’re never going to be mad enough to actually do something about it. And that was a big wake up call for me.
Is just reminding myself of like, hey, it’s not always going to be about why somebody doesn’t change, or what you could do differently. It’s that person’s not ready yet. So I think that’s another important tip for some people to understand is, you know, whatever this version of yourself is, or whatever you want to say, or whatever your like message is, just accept the fact that some people aren’t going to be ready for that. And there’s an inherent FOMO or feeling like you might not be good enough, because you feel like they might listen to somebody else, when in reality, you’re just wasting your time worrying about that, as opposed to just finding your audience and your people. Does that make sense at all? Or does that kind of seem?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 52:37
Yeah, no, that’s actually I mean, it’s just a marketing principle, right? Like, you don’t try to go Convert the person on the polar opposite, like the time cost and the financial cost of converting that customer is enormous
Brett Bartholomew 52:48
And emotional
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 52:49
When you have all these like middle of the road, people that may go the opposite direction, or they may come along with you, why not invest your time in them. And I kind of think about that, from the perspective of, you’re not going to be as well received, you’re not going to be well liked by every single person. Forget them, like move on and find out who your actual target audience is, and speak to them.
Brett Bartholomew 53:12
Yep. And sort of summarize a lot of what we’ve talked about, right? It’s, absolutely be willing to find and excavate what you believe that sense of self that, that how you want to be perceived, what embodies that those core traits in you, but also appreciate that it’s going to be a long trial and error process and picking your shots, picking your battles, finding that range, and the nice thing is, those interactions define that range for you, you realize, oh, I took it too far there. Oh, it didn’t take it far enough here but just succumb to the fact that it’s a process. Yes?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 53:46
Absolutely.
Brett Bartholomew 53:47
Now, how did this process unfold as you transition these things into aspects of your personal life? And I always try to share first just to create like, I studied communication for a living I study humans for a living I never tried to hide that my wife and I still get in arguments. And there’s times where we get in arguments where I’ll default to bad behaviors I’ll raise my voice I’ll do this. And we all deal with that. It’s fundamentally human. Where have you seen aspects of like even if something was a fit at work a bit yet and the acid home? Or just even just balancing those personas wherever you want to take this because I know a lot of listeners, they have to balance their personal and professional lives in versions of this as well.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 54:32
Yeah, so with me being obviously I alluded to it earlier, like the hard nosed strength coach that everything has to be done a certain way and like, I’m going to tell you what I don’t like but never what I do because you should just do what I say and be motivated like I would try to bring that home and my husband– I am the greatest example of out kicking ones coverage that has ever walked the planet. My husband is wonderful and his most important feature for dealing with me is that he is like a type B minus minus minus human being where I’m like a to type A to the eightieth power or whatever.
So he just kind of like, lets that stuff like roll off his back or whatever. And he’s like, Oh, she doesn’t, like he knows I don’t mean, ill intent or whatever. But, just over time, recognizing that, again, I can’t browbeat people into submission with my honest and transparent communication, because eventually, they just tune it out and don’t listen. So I’ve really tried to over the years, kind of shape who I am with him and really others into I guess, a kinder, gentler version of myself, because however open and transparent, I may appear to you now, this is a 41 year old Missy.
And a 21 year old Missy was about like, I’m like a five now and I was about like a 10 back then. So really just trying to approach people with, I guess a little bit more grace would be the best way to phrase it, versus always being transparent and honest, again, just picking those battles of when it’s time to be brutally honest. And when it’s time to kind of, hedge a little bit with some niceties before you have those difficult conversations.
Brett Bartholomew 56:22
Yeah, \no, it’s a great tip. This next question is anchored into the fact that inherently when you or I speak, or anybody comes on the podcast, or when somebody hears somebody on the radio, or whatever, people see themselves in others, right? Like, we’re all very different. But we also have a lot of commonalities. And no matter how individual you and I feel about like, there’s somebody listening, that’s like, oh, my gosh, like I relate to what she’s saying, This person is me, so on and so forth. So that’s what this is rooted in.
For somebody listening to that, and they’re still trying to figure out kind of what makes them tick. And some of these things, if I were to ask you, what are the keys to Missy? I know that you value efficiency. I know that, if you use our communication model, you’re gonna tend to be more realist relator straightforward, but what are some other and feel free to just use layperson terms? What are some keys to you? So there’s somebody’s like, oh, I work with somebody like this. And I want to have a better relationship with them. What are some ways that people could approach somebody like you? That’s like, Hey, here’s how you earn my trust. Here’s how you earn my respect. Here’s some keys for communicating with somebody like me, would you mind sharing some of those things?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 57:30
I think a huge one for me is do what you say you’re gonna do. Do it to the best of your ability, if you can’t do it, ask for help. Or say that you can’t just off the bat, I can’t do it don’t know how I need help. Or it’s going to take me X amount of time. Because for a person like me, that values transparent communication, and also quality and efficiency, when things aren’t done in the timeframe that I want them done, it can be really frustrating. If you’ve communicated to me that, hey, it’s gonna be like, I think we have this conversation, hey, can you come on the pod, I’m like, I’m not available until after X date.
Like, I communicated that to you, because I appreciate that form of communication for others. So I think just, again, just being transparent with that person about, either I need help, or I can or can’t do this, whatever it is, goes a long way. And then also, I talked about grace, like extending a person like me a little bit of grace of you don’t have to go cry in a corner, because I was honest with you. You need to understand that that comes from a place of I’m trying to help you.
I may not have gone about it in the way that makes you feel warm and fuzzy. And that’s something where you can have a conversation with me at a later time of hey, missy, like when you, said such and such, and you said it in this way, like my preferred communication style is XYZ, whatever. I think just knowing that it’s not with ill intention that I am brutally honest and super blunt. It’s actually that I’m trying to help. So again, just extending grace to a person like me, when they hit you in the face with what they want.
Brett Bartholomew 59:15
That’s no, that’s really good insight. And do you feel like just even from an influence standpoint, do you respond best to, I know, direct communication house, but do you respond best to direct influence? Or it’s kind of an indirect approach? Are you somebody that it’s kind of just take time for me to come around? And of course, I know, it depends on the thing. So let’s just talk about on the whole. Is it somebody just going to have to take kind of a slow and steady approach with you? Are you somebody that, hey, if the evidence is compelling enough, and it makes sense, boom, I’ll change in the moment. What tends to be that the way that you would skew?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 59:49
I tend to be a really slow adopter of things. So like professionally, personally, whatever I need to see a pretty large body of evidence and then have a good amount of social proof. Before I’m going to, per se buy something.
Brett Bartholomew 1:00:04
Yeah. Interesting. I wonder how much of you, is a security drive in that sense because right, it makes sense. You want to make sure that you’re making a sound decision and that you’re checking your blind spots. And you’ve looked at that if you guys don’t know what I’m talking about, go to artofcoaching.com/whatdrivesyou. Well, listen, you’ve covered a lot of ground, we’ve talked about everything from just where your sense of being unapologetic and authentic comes from. How we look at dealing with difficult personalities, regardless of the age range, but also meeting people where they’re at.
Keys to influence in personalities like yourself, how you balance this at home. I mean, this essentially could be a book, what I want to know now because you’ve given us so much information as we always want to give back. Where can people go to support you? What do you have going on? Where can they learn more about you? How can they connect with you? Now’s your time to state all those things, because we want to support you.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 1:00:58
For now my website safeirontraining.com is where you can book consoles, programming, that kind of stuff. I’m also pretty active on Twitter and Instagram, both of my handles are the same. It’s Missy M Macbeth.
Brett Bartholomew 1:01:12
Awesome. Now let’s say somebody’s listening. And they have a kid that they want, more help with their end sport they want advice. Is that part of your audience as well? Could any parents reach out to you that have questions about these kinds of things.
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 1:01:27
I typically work more with sport coaches, I do some in person stuff, due to the constraints of writing a book, which you are painfully well aware of. I am not currently doing online programming for clients. But that’s something that once the book launches and all of the dominoes that fall after that is something that absolutely would be an offering.
Brett Bartholomew 1:01:51
That’s perfect. Well, listen, I appreciate your time, we always try to give the guests the final word. So I’ll push it back to you. If there’s anything else you feel like you really wanted to get off your chest or say, but I just know that, these are never easy conversations to have we tried to cover a lot of the messy realities. And as much as people want a one size fits all methods, there’s not so I really hope they listen and re listen to everything you said here and reflect on those. But is there anything else you wanted to add that we didn’t cover?
Missy Mitchell-McBeth 1:02:20
No, I just want to say thanks again for having me on. Like, obviously, this podcast is pretty big deal. If you don’t know, your listeners know, it’s a pretty big honor to be asked to be on here.
Brett Bartholomew 1:02:31
I appreciate that. Yeah no, we definitely want to give voices to people out there that are doing things every day. We don’t try to celebrity Chase and so that that’s dependent on people like you coming on and being prepared and authentic and ready to talk about tough things. So the the platform means nothing if nobody wants to come on and be vulnerable. So I can’t thank you again for that.
All right, everybody, listen, we want to hear your feedback. We want you to share this. There are people that deal with these same things every single day. So you can always reach out to us at info@artofcoaching.com. We ask that you send this to two to three other people and leave a review. We need to know that it’s helping for myself and our guests. Missy can’t thank you enough once again. We will talk to you next time.
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